Rock of Love

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Potes: A+ | 6 USERS: A+
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Meet The Parents

Lacey interviews that her dad is a self-made man, and might not have the most etiquette when talking about money. She'll tell him to chill. We cut to Heather in the kitchen, telling her dad how Lacey has basically been manipulating her from the start because she sees Heather's connection with Bret. Back outside, Lacey -- wanting to do some damage control and figuring that throwing Heather under the bus is the easiest way to do so -- wants to give Bret some food for thought. Girl, I will tell you this. Throwing Heather is like throwing a Xerox machine. Good luck. Lacey tells Bret that, though Heather really seems to love her parents, she doesn't show them a lot of respect. To wit, she strips even though she knows it hurts them. Meanwhile, Heather is totally standing on the balcony listening to the whole thing. In her own words: "I cannot believe what I'm hearing. This whore is totally talking shit about me to Bret." Jes pops out on the balcony in time to hear Lacey tell Bret that, though Heather promised to quit stripping if they ended up together, she didn't quit stripping for her parents. She'll quit for two weeks, Lacey says, and then get back on the pole. And at that point, the pole will be up Lacey's ass, so she'll have quite a view.

While Bret's taking all this in, Heather comes down the stairs preparing to fuck a bitch up. And really, Lacey is such an idiot. Heather curses a lot and says that Lacey is a master manipulator. Also a master baiter. Also a stare master. Heather calls her a liar, and says that her family has no idea what kind of a fucking person she is. Otis, meanwhile, has made his way to the porch. He's probably hoping that Heather's bikini top will fall off in her fury. And hey! At least she's wearing one, for once. Though this really would be an awesome topless tirade. Heather says that Lacey has been manipulating her from day one. Lacey keeps calling her "sweetie," which I think is pretty condescending. Lacey -- apparently forgetting that she was just talking all kinds of shit about the girl -- interviews that Heather came out of nowhere and flipped the fuck out. Jes, meanwhile, is sitting on the sidelines eating a bowl of potato salad and loving it all. Jes is one of us, for sure. I wish I had some potato salad, too.

Heather calls Lacey a liar and a bitch and tells her to stop calling her "sweetie." Lacey wants to tell Heather, in front of Bret, what she just said. Heather's like, duh, I just heard it, you stupid ho. She says that her parents are proud of her, and that Lacey's family members are the ones who are going to be embarrassed when they find out what a liar and manipulator she is. A MASTER manipulator, in fact. Heather interviews that, in addition to thinking that Heather is her biggest competition, Lacey was probably mad that Heather called her out at dinner, and therefore went to talk to Bret. If Lacey wasn't such a freaking liar, however, none of the calling-out would have been necessary. Lacey, of course, thinks it's good that Bret got to see Heather in a rage. Bret, who has had enough, tells Lacey to go in and address Heather now.

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Rock of Love

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