Previously: Pole dancing. Cat fighting. I think that might be just about every "previously on" description for this show.
It is morning. Rodeo works out. Sam brushes her teeth. Well, at least one girl has perfunctory hygiene. Heather reminds us that there are two camps in the house: the bad girls/A Team/varsity squad, who are her, Brandi C., Lacey, and Kristia; and the good girls, who are Magdalena, Erin, Jes, Mia, Sam, Dallas. Heather also calls these the "fake girls." Tough talk from a woman fashioned of silicone, rusty car parts, and Tang. Lacey tells us that she's feeling devil horns poking out of her skull, and is going to have to do something to get her current archnemesis, fur- and meat-loving Dallas, out of the house.
Big John delivers some Bret Mail: "Hope you're all rested/'Cause today your skills will be tested/Are you the one that goes fast?/Who puts the pedal to the gas?/Well, get geared up and ready to start/'Cause today you girls will race for my heart./The fastest four will win a date." Oh my God, could they not just add a "hurry up and don't be late" or something at the end? I can't bear the unresolved rhyming couplet! Kristia is psyched, because she's a big fan of the crosses -- motocross, supercross, snowcross, Jesus on the cross. She's all about it.
The girls get dressed and head to a motocross track, where there are bikes all lined up for them. Three helmeted folks come racing toward them. One is Bret, who takes off his helmet while ensuring that his black bandana doesn't come off in the process. And I mean, thank God. We've seen what's on top of his head, and it's quite possible that it has turned people blind and/or to stone. Bret is a big motorcycle and motocross fanatic -- he says that motocross is one of the most important things in his life, and he wants his lady to enjoy riding as well. He introduces his co-riders: nine-time women's world motocross champion (or something) Mercedes Gonzalez, and soon to be nine-time world champion Charity Okerson. Oh, yay, some real lesbians and not just Tawny and Heather doing shots out of each others' cleavage! Bret says that they're bitter rivals, and are going to take their aggression out on the contestants. On the motocross track. And perhaps off. I mean, who really knows? Erin looks terrified. I don't know why, since if she flies off of the bike and lands chest down she'll just bounce right back on. Heather, however, is psyched, and determined to win the date with Bret.