Rock of Love

Episode Report Card
Potes: A | 387 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Motocross

Back at home, Brandi M. and Rodeo show off their bikinis and Bret tries to get some one-on-one time with the girls he hasn't gotten to know very well. He takes Kristia off to his room and asks if she can deal with his lifestyle, where every night on the road is a party. She says that she's chill about that stuff because she has a life also. Bret says that the conversation basically went nowhere. I'm sure the fact that she looks a fright without her makeup has nothing to do with that. Bret is particularly enamored of her tiny ass, however. He then has some alone time with Sam. He starts in about feeling close to her the previous night, and she asks him to look at her when he's talking to her. He says he's looking at her legs and her body. She means her face, and he says he looked at that too. What a prize. Brandi C. loves motocross, and Bret likes making out sloppily with Brandi C. Erin continues her debate team list of reasons for staying and says she's not there for TV or to get famous. Bret looks at her heaving bosom and says, "Obviously." Heh.

Oh, and then there's the Lacey/Dallas drama. Bret gets them both on the outside couch. Lacey starts in with the animal stuff, and Dallas basically tells her that she can have her opinions, and that she doesn't care. Dallas isn't there to date Lacey. And I mean, fair enough. Bret interviews that, on the one side, he did grow up hunting and eating meat, and also Lacey is crazy. However, he hasn't really connected with Dallas. Either way, one of them has to go before someone dies.

Elimination! Lacey really wants Dallas to go home, and says she's a cold-hearted, hateful person. Dallas thinks Bret only knows what Lacey told him, and has no idea where he'll go with his decision. Kristia is nervous, since Bret hasn't had much time to get to know her. Sam's worried because she hesitated to kiss Bret. Yeah, but she had the orgasm save. Bret comes out in a red bandana and snakeskin coat. LACEY. There are ten passes, which means two girls are going home tonight. Brandi M. is first to get a pass. Then there's Jes, Heather (whose hair is a marvel and whose stomach in a cut-out dress is the envy of Britney Spears), Rodeo, Brandi C., Erin, Mia, Magdalena, and Sam. This leaves Kristia, Dallas and Lacey, and only one pass left. Bret announces that the tour is ending for Kristia. She's beautiful, but they didn't know enough about each other. Brandi C. totally pretends to cry. So it's down to Dallas and Lacey. Lacey is crazy, but Bret likes that, and he feels more of a connection with her. She gets a pass. Dallas flashes the double Lu (so named for the time I saw Lucinda Williams in New Haven, and several people were watching a Yankees/Red Sox playoff game in the back of the bar and let out a big cheer during her quiet bluesy encore, and she shot up the double bird as she finished the song, and then walked right the fuck off the stage), and interviews that Bret is a fucking idiot. Truer words.

Rock of Love

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