Jes hands off the bike to Brandi C., who is stoked because she looks so good in her outfit. I'd mention the fact that she has a helmet covering her face, but I'm not the type of person to make fun of another's disability. Sam takes the second leg for the pink team, and Kristia -- who appears to be a fan of the slow and steady method of racing -- takes it for the blue team. With the purple team in the lead, Erin jumps on the bike for leg three, and Magdalena is the pink team's third rider. Heather takes the bike for the blue team, and tries to haul ass to make up for all the time dumb-fuck Lacey lost. Mia is the last rider for the purple team, which is in first place. Brandi C. thinks they can take it. Until, that is, Rodeo jumps on her bike and takes off. Rodeo is like the wind through my tree, man.

The blue team is still in last place, and it's all up to Dallas. Yeah. Bret tells us that Dallas takes off at about fifty miles an hour, which is enough to kill someone. She hauls ass in a wobbly fashion until she hits the first bump and goes flying right the hell off the bike. I mean, she flies, the bike flies. We even get a slow-motion replay, which so far has I think only happened when Tiffany was upside down on the stripper pole with her legs wide open and there were squeaky noises as she slid down. This is a big deal, is what I'm saying. Dallas lands hard on the ground, and Heather and Bret, both thinking she might be dead, run to her. The girls look concerned -- with the exception of Lacey, who is grinning like the Cheshire dumb bitch. Thankfully, Dallas is okay, and will live to torture Lacey for another day. She gets back on the bike and prepares to haul ass, but the bike totally flies away from under her legs. This is why I only ride the motocross at Dave and Busters.