Bret then learns a little about Sam and Magdalena. Sam says that music is so important to her because she has a learning disability. It sounds like ADD/ADHD. Her creative side is broader, and music was her form of therapy. Bret feels a strong connection to her. They bond over their love of Metallica and Pantera, while Magdalena sits and twiddles her gonads. When Bret turns to her, Maggie tells him that she never was his fan, being from Poland and all. This means that she's there for love. Bret, of course, finds this to be a turn-on. Conjoined twin? Turn-on. One of those pustules that looks like a mole but is actually filled with teeth and hair and stuff? Turn-on. Pictures of you drunkenly making out with your schnauzer? Turn-on.
Bret, Magdalena, and Sam head into the B.A.M.B. room. Maggie knows that Bret is impressed by Sam, so she has a strategy to get her man. This basically involves eating a strawberry and giving him a big slobbery kiss. Bret wants Sam to do the same. She feels awkward in front of Magdalena, and Bret tells her that it's just a little kiss. She interviews that a little kiss is a big deal to her. Nonetheless, they start fully making out while Magdalena just sits there. Magdalena interviews in her Martina Navratilova voice that it was pretty obvious that Bret and Sam did not share just an ordinary kiss. Sam interviews that she heard angels singing. That's actually Van Halen, which I'm sure sounds heavenly compared to all the Poison they've been pumping through the house.
Sam tells Bret that the sexual tension is ridiculous, and that if she wants to have an orgasm, she can't, because everyone else is watching her. Sister, tell me about it. Once I raised my hand in a staff meeting and said the very same thing. It's so annoying. I mean, seriously, who says that? Bret's response? "I'll watch you." He volunteers to help her, and Sam points out that he's kissing and touching a lot of other girls, and that if she spends the night in his bed, there will be another girl in there tomorrow. Sam -- who will be played by Kimberly Stewart in The Rock Of Love Story -- says that she maybe shouldn't have brought up the orgasm, because she wants Bret to judge her for her mind and heart, not on how sexy she is. Oh, just get on the pole with the rest of them. Magdalena thinks that she didn't impress Bret as much as Sam did, but she might have a little advantage, since Sam seems to have some trust issues. Bret was glad to get to know both girls, and now is just super-horny.













Comments