Rock of Love

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Once A Cowgirl

And then! World's best thing! To help him out with this challenge, Bret invited back a very good friend of his. One with a cackling hellish laugh. And it is....RODEO!!!!!!!!!! She comes in a-riding and a-laughing. Finally, her dream of riding a horse...on Bret's laaaaaand...has come true. Bret calls Rodeo a woman of stature and insanity. And, I may add, abject greatness. Rodeo tells the women that they look great...not. Oh, Rodeo! Such a card. She cracks herself up, which goes a little something like this: "Nnn HUH HUH HUH HUH! Nnn huh HUH HUH HUH!" Oh, "Nnn HUH HUH HUH HUH! Nnn huh HUH HUH HUH!" How I've missed copying and pasting you. Rodeo then says that she's just playing, and tells the ladies for real that they look beautiful. Have I mentioned the large quantities of cleavage and chaps that Rodeo is displaying? The Lifetime Original Movie that is just about Rodeo will indeed be called Cleavage N' Chaps: The Rock N' Rodeo Story.

Rodeo welcomes the women to Rodeo's Rock N' Rodeo Relay. If Elmer Fudd were hired to orally recap this show, he would be crying right about now. The contestants will be divided up into two teams, and the team that wins the relay will win a date with Bret. Rodeo and Bret will decide on the MVP, and that person will win a very special one-on-one date with Bret. The first relay event is riding and roping, in which the girls will have to rope a big plastic steer head. Better than kittens, I guess. Then they'll have to ride around some barrels with photos of Season 1 contestants on the top. Hey Brandi M.! Finally, the women will have to retrieve bandanas off of greased pigs. Well, that one will have some tactile familiarity, at least. The first team to get four bandanas off the greased pigs will win the rodeo. And then if they trade their victory for what's behind Door #2, they'll win Rodeo, in a giant-sized rocking chair, and a lifetime supply of Knorr soup mix.

Catherine and Ambre have the most riding experience, and volunteer to be the team captains. Catherine, whose team will be Blue, chooses Inna Tuna, Peyton, and Daisy, while Ambre, whose team will be Red, picks Destiney, Kristy Joe, and Jessica. These means that Megan is left out yet again. She thinks that the other girls didn't pick her because they're jealous, and adds that they don't know what it's like to go through life with the turmoil of hotness. I actually think it's because they largely -- and, most likely, correctly -- believe that she's useless. But Megan is the ultimate winner, because she gets to choose which team she wants to be on. She goes with Catherine's team, since Catherine has been bragging all morning that she's one with the horse or whatever.

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Rock of Love

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