Rock of Love

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Peepshow

While the three peepshow winners go off to their date, Megan, Jessica, and Destiney decide to make Bret a card to express how sorry they are for not spending time with him. Okay, first of all, who is this "Jessica" they keep throwing on my screen, and how did she get in the VIP room? Second of all, I hope you're going to add some tits along with the glitter and hearts if you want that card to be effective.

Meanwhile, date! They're going four-wheeling. Daisy says she's worried because she's never done it and she doesn't want to look like an idiot in front of Bret, but really I think it's because if she gets thrown off and something cracks open when she lands face-down, green slime will shoot everywhere. Bret tells us that ATVing is great, because when you're done, the hot sun and vibration makes you want to...mmph. It's like sitting on a dryer for adventurous people. The girls suit up; Bret gives them some basic instruction. Daisy is confused. Still, everyone manages to ride without dying. So far. Back at home, Inna Tuna and Angelique decide to set up a floor for a dance contest. It has lots of flowers and candles. It's true that nothing makes you move like a foot on fire. Oh, and the VIPs make their card, which maybe has cut-out swords on it? I guess it's a tribute to Bret's love of Pirates of Penzance.

Back at the date, Bret compliments Ambre, Daisy, and Peyton on their peepshow performances. Daisy has, like, a rivulet of mud running from her nose to her lips. I'm sure she has no feeling left in her face, so wouldn't even notice if her septum had been taken over by carpenter ants. Peyton and Daisy both connect with Bret on a musical level, and Ambre feels a little left out. Noticing this, Bret takes her off for some one-on-one time. Daisy is hoping that this will lead Bret to be as bored with Ambre as anyone else is. Ambre's interests are working out, hanging with her friends, and chilling at home. She had a long-term relationship that she walked away from because it was stifling her career. Bret relates. They kiss, and Bret says Ambre is one of the best kissers he's ever...kissed. He gets heavy, heavy movement. For the Reverend Martin Luther King: sing.

Meanwhile, at home, the three VIP girls are all dolled up in lingerie and waiting for Bret with their card, which might feature a giant bandana. Jessica tells the others that they make an amazing trio...of brains. Mmm, delicious brains. Seeing them, Inna Tuna and Angelique decide to do the same. Destiney tells us that they're copying. It's like the time in third grade when my friend Billie got pinstripe jeans, and then I got pinstripe jeans, and she had to sit me down and have a serious conversation and say, "I got pinstripe jeans, and then you got pinstripe jeans. Stop copying me!" Sadly, the only person in the house with pinstripe jeans (Jordache, natch) is Catherine, and no one is copying her.

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Rock of Love

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