Big John comes out to tell all the girls that Bret is going to meet with his VIPs first, then fraternize with the others. There will be an elimination tonight, so everyone has to be on her game. Niki, who I think actually IS C.C. Deville, thinks the VIPs are bitches. Megan is psyched that Bret wants to talk to her first, and wants to wrap her legs around him and hump him. She tells him she does a lot of modeling, and he is not surprised. Is this, like, Heather Mills "glamour modeling"? Everything in Megan's life is great, and all that's missing is someone to share it with her. That's what Bret is looking for, too! They're both also looking for sloppy drunken makeout sessions. Megan thinks she had a good time. Bret, who needs a minute to let his boner subside, did as well. Megan drunkenly interviews, "I love Bret Michaels. Me n' him 4EVER!" It has to be said that Megan is actually pretty hot.

Destiney has VIP time next. She has something very special she made for Bret. It is -- I shit you not -- a Bedazzled bandana. Let me clarify: this bitch took a Bedazzler to a do-rag. Destiney goes on and on about how meeting Bret is a dream come true. She says she's not a psychotic fan. Tough talk from someone who JUST GAVE BRET MICHAELS A BEDAZZLED BANDANA. What does Bret think? "Ah, Destiney, with her sweet cackling laugh. Her hot lips and heaving breasts more than made up for anything that may be slightly annoying. I knew she was the perfect psycho fan to make sweet love to me...or kill me." Oh my God, get the man some new fucking cue cards! In any case, I hope you enjoy Lacey 2.0.

Daisy is next. Kissing is really important to her, and Bret does not disappoint. She feels fireworks and is sure there's something there. I just have to ask...what the fuck is wrong with her face? She looks like she's in the witness protection program or something. Daisy tells Bret, who compliments her profusely on how hot she is, that she's a musician, too. She can't believe they're making an instant connection. She's probably actually smelling instant coffee and just got confused.

Meanwhile, Tuna is wasted. However, she's determined to get her time with Bret. She runs from the pool over to the VIP area and jumps on Bret soaking wet. He knows there are good times to be had in the future with Tuna. The final VIP, Erin, finally gets her time. She loves rock stars, and thinks that Bret will love her personality and charisma, and hopefully they'll connect on an artistic level. She seems cool and pretty, and like she actually has her original face. For sure, she is an anomaly in this crowd and doomed for failure. She's also kind of Jes-like, which could go either way. Erin tells Bret that she started playing guitar four months ago, and also learned HTML -- and a lot about world events! -- from MySpace. She's possibly a little dumb, or maybe just young. Bret thinks she's boring, but hot.