Meanwhile, the reserved girls pass judgment on their more aggressive counterparts. Kristy Joe tells us she's not the type of person who's going to go jump at Bret and take her clothes off. That's not her. She does Playboy, but that's different. It's refined. They, like, take pictures of your naked cooter next to a mountaintop. Elegance! Meanwhile, Tuna tells Bret that her father was never there and she just wants someone to love her. Well that's healthy. Some other bitches drag Bret off, and Kristy Joe acknowledges that she's got no game.

Inside, Bret talks to Jackye, who has a hot/cool Italian thing going on. Bret likes it. Niki, on the other hand, needs to be more confident and make a connection. Bret isn't sure if she'll last in the house. Bret asks what would take them beyond a one night stand, and Niki says that sex, for her, is everything. That's four red checkers in a row, right there. Meanwhile, Courtney is wasted. Like, possible alcohol-poisoning wasted. She slurrily says that she's fat and ugly. Oh, college, sometimes I don't miss you at all. Ambre really wants to get to Bret, but also feels like she has to take care of a sister. In the general direction of some of the ladies in the hot tub, Courtney halfheartedly slurs, "Yeah, be a hobag be a slut, whatever." I miss Tiffany so much right now, I can't even tell you.

Kristy Joe squirrels Bret away for some one-on-one, or one-on-two, time. He, however, has to take a piss, and excuses himself for a moment. On his way to the loo, he encounters Jackye on the pole. Turns out Jackye is a great pole dancer. She's Zagat rated. Bret decides he can hold it. Meanwhile, Kristy Joe and Missi wait and talk about how horses are pretty. Kristy Joe asks Missi if she barebacks. Missi does not. Big John reminds Bret that he has some ladies waiting. Bret is intrigued by Kristy Joe's cold personality, plus he massively wants to suck her face. Missy gives Bret a kiss goodbye, but Kristy Joe doesn't want to. She says that she's not germophobic, but when all the rest of the bitches are kissing him she's disgusted, even though they all say they've been tested. And, I mean, finally someone with a lick of fucking sense. If I was forced to go on this show, I would do it in a John Travolta-style bubble.