Rock of Love

Episode Report Card
Potes: A+ | 1329 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Reunited and It Feels Like a Punch to the Head

Rikki asks Angelique if she might have won Bret's love by playing harder to get. Angelique totally wants to show everyone her vagina right now. Does that answer your question? Bret makes a comment about how Angelique doesn't have a malicious bone in her body, and Rikki jokes that we've seen all her bones, and a malicious bone wasn't among them. The audience is forced to clap for this stupid joke. Shoo bop shoo wadda wadda, Rikki Rachtman. Rikki asks Angelique if she has any regrets. She doesn't, but she does have a bitch slap to give Aubrey, whom she thinks is fake, zeriously, and looks like a rat on crack. Oooh, she totally IS like street corner Ratatouille. Will make soup for crack. Good call, Angelique. Aubrey is all like, "What did she say, are you speaking English?" to which Angelique responds, "Shut up beech, you are zo fake." She then tells Aubrey to kiss her perfect Barbie ass. Aubrey might do it, too, if Kristy Joe is unavailable.

Then Aubrey totally calls Angelique a she-man! And really, if some VH1 producer were casting Battle of the Network She-Males right now, these two are the first he'd phone up. The lesson of this particular reunion show is that woman tend to be hardest on the women who are exactly like them. '70s feminists watch and weep. I mean, for a lot of reasons, I guess. Bret assures us that Angelique is all woman. Oh come on, there's not even a little nub? Angelique says that, hate her or love her, we're all still talking about her. Or, were talking about her. Rikki notes that Angelique has stopped stripping since the show aired. This is true, and she's totally sad about it because she loves being a stripper. But people always just want to hang out with her now that she's been on TV, and I guess that's not good for business. She wants to give Bret her last lap dance. It's weird and manufactured and she doesn't even seem to be enjoying it. Angelique has a sense of shame! It's the biggest revelation thus far.

Rock of Love

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