Rock of Love

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Reunited and It Feels Like a Punch to the Head

Ambre comes onstage, looking pretty good. She and Bret smooch, and still seem like something of an odd pairing. They sit together, and Ambre tells us what an incredible, fate-filled journey this has been. Bret tells us that on the very first night, he thought that Ambre was on the phone with her boyfriend, and that's why he was going to let her go. But it was all a mistake, and look where they are now! With the greatest love of all. Bret says how beautiful Ambre looks, and that it's awesome and he's excited and horny. And then Ambre starts giggling and, like, doesn't stop. Either what her life has become has sunk in and she's completely mortified, or Bret banged the wig off of her backstage and she still hasn't recovered. Bret confesses that he's a rocker and a rule breaker, and thus he and Ambre snuck in a little boom boom in the months after the show stopped filming. Ambre got to go backstage at a Bret Michaels show, and in Bret's tour bus, and it turned her into a giggling maniac. Seriously, you're 37, woman. Get it together. And then Rikki brings up the whole Sharon Stone moment -- a landmark event in televisual history, for sure.

Rikki asks Ambre if it was hard to see all the women who flock to Bret backstage. In fact, it kind of turned her on. Big John cracks up and Bret makes devil horns. Rikki wonders if Ambre thinks it will be hard for Bret to stay faithful. Bret is all, "That's not part of my contract." Players only love you when they're playing, Ambre. Beware. Ambre says that it will be hard, but Bret's at a place in his life where he's looking for a more in-depth relationship. And, she says, their lifestyles -- with all the traveling they do -- are pretty compatible. She's found what she's looking for. At the same time, she says, she's not disillusioned. I think what she means is that she has no illusions. But she wants to see what happens. They're dating, and she's excited about that. Bret nods and strokes her arm and can't wait to knock boots with Daisy later on. Rikki asks if both Ambre and Bret want to leave here and try to make this thing work. Ambre giggles yes, and Bret solemnly says, "Absolutely." Well, I'm sure it will all work out just great! Until it is time to film Rock of Love 3.

And with that, another season comes to a close! Thank you all for reading. And get tested regularly. Watching this show is classified as high-risk behavior!

Potes, a dicksucker whorebag by trade, needs nothing but a good time. She can be reached at: potesypotes@gmail.com.

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Rock of Love

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