Bret notes that when they left the level of partying went down, and Ashley asks who the eff wants to see Taya crimp her hair for eight hours. The answer is: Taya. Riki praises the girl-on-girl action of the Blondetourage, as does Bret. He says he can't think of a man in his right mind who would stop it, and Ashley and Farrah interject that Natasha might. Oh, dude. I mean, dude. Sorry, Nathaniel. Riki asks Ashley if she's into chicks, and she says of course she's into chicks and also into guys and also into Brittanya, whom she calls a hot bitch. Farrah then touches up Ashley's lip gloss as well as her own before putting it back down her cleavage, and we're done. Aw, I will miss those guys. I don't think we're going to get, What the French? Of Love either. Perhaps that's for the best.
And then it's time to talk about Brittaney, the sweaty sock thief! She stole sweaty socks, remember? And then she got all racial with Natasha, which led to her saying that her grandfather is black. Good times! Brittaney goes up on stage and Marcia gives the thumbs down. Riki asks Brittaney if she's sorry that she brought up the race thing in her conflict with Natasha. Brittaney says she is sorry about it, and adds that she was misunderstood. What she meant was that Bret totally does not dig black chicks and everyone knows it. True enough, I guess. Brittaney concludes by repeating the thesis of her argument, which is, "I was under the impression that Natasha wasn't his type." Natasha is not buying it, even though Brittaney says that they're cool now. Riki asks Natasha if she thinks she's Bret's type, and Natasha asks who gives a fuck about Bret's type. It's all about who her type is. She asks what guy wouldn't want her. This might be an even better time to poll the audience.
And then, there are comments from the vodka tonic gallery as Kelsey yells out drunkenly that Natasha does porn. Natasha is proud of it, and yells, "Six figures!" over and over. This only prompts Kelsey to yell, "Okay, Nathaniel." This, in turn, prompts Natasha to knock Kelsey the fuck off of her stool and, apparently, beat the shit out of her. Unlike Amy Ray, Natasha does have a need for anger with intimate strangers. We don't get to see the nitty gritty, but it appears that Kelsey has to be carried off the stage, so good times! I think the move that Natasha just pulled is called "the speed bump." We head to commercials so Big John can mop up the blood and hair extensions.