The next morning, Brandi C. is excited for her date. Bret stumbles out to the kitchen, having woken up naked in a puddle of his own drool and pretty much feeling like death. It is these moments that make you vow never to drink again. Once, just out of college, I went out on a rager that involved copious amounts of whiskey, and woke up the next morning in bed with my best friend, in another friend's apartment, naked from the waist down. I never knew for sure how I got to be in that state, but sadly I think the most likely scenario is that I peed myself. I was all class in my early twenties, which is why I really can't be too hard on these bitches. Over breakfast, the whole crew relives the previous night. Brandi M. interviews that she's pissed at what happened, with the bimbos sneaking in Bret's room and trying to fuck him. She says that, after breakfast, it was time to get down and dirty. This involves some of the JV squad talking serious shit. Brandi M. tells a tale of mooning someone and telling her to kiss her fucking ass. Oooh, who was it? We may never know.
Anyway, Lacey comes out and asks why everyone's so riled up. They all basically want to know what happened in Bret's room, and whether they did it. By "it," they mean "IT." Lacey says she's not saying that anything did or didn't happen. All she will say is that they had a good time. Oh, please. While all the girls were making out with each other, Li'l Bret shriveled up and he passed right the hell out. They then took off his bandana and laughed for a while, and rifled through his wallet. Don't threaten me with a supposed good time. Lacey doesn't understand why everyone's so upset, and Jes forcefully says that she doesn't want to kiss Bret if he just ate Lacey's shit out. And I mean, fair enough. Lacey interviews that all the rumors were flying, and the girls were talking, and she loved it. A very upset Sam says that she wants to go home, and asks how you're supposed to trust someone not to cheat on you when you go into a relationship with him cheating on you. Well, one way to avoid this scenario is not to put yourself in a situation where the object of your affection is dating twenty-four other women simultaneously. I'm just saying. Sam says that it's gross and disgusting and isn't for her. Poor outcast Sam with her dignity and natural breasts.