Big John delivers some Bret Mail. "Sam and Brandi C./You riffed my world with your song/So put on your boots and pull up your chaps/I hope you're ready to roll with me./As for the rest of you rockin' chicks/You'll just have to wait for my elimination picks." And then, it is my favorite Rodeo interview of the whole season. While crying, she gasps out, "I was bummed because my dream date with him was to...ride on a horse...on his land." HAAAAAAAAAAAAA! The "on his land" part kills me.

Bret takes Brandi C. and Sam to Paramount Ranch, where they indeed go horse riding. Bret says that there's nothing sexier than a beautiful woman in a cowboy hat riding a horse. Brandi C. is having a great time, and loves the way the horses smell. Not when they're pooping. Just generally. She then gets a bee in her hat, which is pretty hilarious. There is a mini-montage of Brandi C. squeaking, "Oh my God," and Bret interviews that when you put Sam and Brandi C. together, you really notice that Brandi has a young soul. That's a very nice way to put it. After horse riding, there is a picnic set up, and Bret presents each of the girls with a nice-looking acoustic guitar. Brandi C. sniffs it. Horsey!

Sam says that the date was totally perfect (except for the presence of another ho -- HELLO!), but that she was going to make sure that she got some time to talk with Bret and find out if she could trust him or not. They go off alone. This doesn't bother Brandi C. because, as she says, they're going off to talk about issues they already have, and they're not even together. Sam would seriously be way too much drama for Bret. Sam tells Bret that things like the recent possible foursome have made her rethink her stay. She has trust issues because her father cheated on her mother. She interviews that she understands how it might be hard to say no to all the women in the house, but she's not there to get off -- she's there to find a relationship. Again, her relationship-finding methods are kind of questionable. Bret shares tales of his parents' divorce, and thinks they're connecting. They make out for a while, and Sam decides to stay. Bret feels something with her, but doesn't know if he can be in a relationship with someone who doesn't trust him. And I mean...WHO WOULD TRUST HIM? This is why Bret is compatible primarily with dumb-asses. Bret says that with two more girls going home soon, he has to dig down deep and figure out what he's looking for in his life. I thought we already ascertained that it was nothing but a good time?