Rock of Love

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Riff It Good

Heather and Magdalena are next, and also go with the ballad. Bret notes that Magdalena sounds a little like a drag queen, but she's a big girl, so she has a deep voice. I know there are some age issues here, but the only person I can see playing Magdalena in The Rock Of Love Story is Miss Beatrice Arthur. I mean, right? Heather rocks a shaker, and she and Magdalena actually look pretty good. Richard tells them that the singing was not great, but that he did like their lyrics.

Jes and Brandi M. are next, and feeling pretty confident about their abilities to punk-rock the shit out of the song. And they do! Sam thinks they're adorable and rad as shit. And they are! Bret thinks they kicked ass all over the stage, and says that they caught his attention immediately.

Oooh, and then there's Rodeo and Mia. They also pick the uptempo song. Rodeo totally has the karaoke sway down. There is indeed a line in there about grabbing their L.A. kids and loving right. Bret notices the lyrics about the kids, and says that they didn't quite fit the song. He asks why they chose the rock song over the ballad. Rodeo's response? "We both agreed that in order to carry out the rock, for you, for your future, is to have kids involved. Because the children are the ones that are growing up, and they're going to make your rock music live." Teach them well and let them lead the way. Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be. In Rodeo's case, that means crazy as fuck. She does an on-the-fly interview where she starts crying that she promised she'd always include her son. Well, when she's sliding down the pole, breasts in hand, I actually think it's better that he's with the sitter.

Brandi C. and Sam are the last to go. Sam still thinks she's fucked. Their song is called "Your Fallen Angel," and Sam dedicates it to Bret. The sound of this beat is in her soul. The words from her mouth may seem like they're cold. But she's been messed with, she's been lied to, betrayed by...talk to her, boy, tell her she's the one. Tear into her flesh, 'cause mama's fallen angel is the one who knows best. In complete darkness, she is at light. And she emerges with blood, lace...and mice? Mice? I thought it was "might" when they were rehearsing, but now it totally sounds like "mice." Are these bitches leaving crumbs all over the floor? Well, Brandi C. probably is so that she can find her way back to the living room. In any case, creepy little journal indeed. Sam says that being in the house inspired the lyrics, since they never know if they're being lied to, or if Bret's being honest with them. Bret is pretty cognizant of Sam's trust issues, and doesn't sound like he's all that enamored of them. Oh, and I have to mention that Brandi C. was adorable throughout the whole song.

The judges critique the teams. Magdalena and Heather worked together well, and Richard liked the lyrics. Heather takes credit for them, but Maggie interjects that both of them contributed. Jes and Brandi M. looked terrific, but Richard didn't like that they held guitars. They had enough energy that they could have sold themselves behind the mics. Brandi's response? "Pull the stick out of your ass, Richard, it was a joke." Lacey and Erin are next. Erin's lack of musical acumen hurt the performance. Lacey is pissed. Rodeo and Mia worked together well and gave a great performance. Richard asked who wrote the lyrics, and Mia says they merged their ideas. Rodeo, never content to pipe the fuck down, says she wanted to involve the kids. Bret mentions Rodeo's anxiety attack the night before. Richard tells her not to channel that energy into the song. Sam and Brandi C. had some great lyrics, and Richard particularly likes "Lie to me boy, tell me I'm the one." On the negative side, the singing was terrible. Bret decides to call the competition a tie. The joint winners are Magdalena/Heather and Samantha/Brandi C.. What? Heather thinks it's a huge cop-out, and Brandi C. agrees that it's bullshit. Jes is pissed that four more girls get to go on a date, and none is her. Plus, she and Brandi M. were clearly pearls in a field of swine droppings.

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Rock of Love

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