Rock of Love

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Riff It Good

Oh, and Jesus, Rodeo is having another breakdown. Because Bret brought up the kid thing in relation to the song, Rodeo thinks maybe she used her child. Holly Hunter is going to have to get really creative with this in The Rock Of Love Story, because as amusing as she normally is, Rodeo makes for a super-boring emotional wreck. Okay, wait, scratch that. From Rodeo's tearful on-the-fly interview: "Kids love music. And I'm trying to bring them into good music. And I love rock, and I love country. That's why I wear my hat. That's why kids love me. [Crazy wide-eyed look all around.]" I mean, "That's why I wear my hat." There are no words. Brandi C. understands that Rodeo misses her kids, but at the same time thinks she's an annoying attention whore. She abnormally misses her cat, she says, but prepared herself to live without him. Rodeo should have done the same. And I mean, I'm sure Rodeo totally found a friend to check in on her son once a day, give him some wet food, and scoop his poop, so I don't get the dramatics either. Rodeo continues to bawl and repeats that she feels like she used her son. It's not like she used him for slave labor. Lighten up!

It's time for Bret's date with Heather and Magdalena. Maggie is excited about the date, but not so excited that she has to go with frickin' who? Heather. It does suck that they don't get to go on solo dates because of the tie. Bret tells them that they as a team sang the best. Maggie tells Bret about Rodeo's newest breakdown, which was precipitated by his comment about the kids and the song. He acknowledges that she's been having a tough time, and says he respects that she's so emotionally involved with her kid. His fear is that she's very, very intense. It's about time he noticed that she has crazy eyes constantly. Heather interviews that Rodeo has a lot of drama in that big old head of hers, so she doesn't blame Bret for being concerned.

Bret takes Maggie and Heather to a sushi restaurant called The Geisha House. He goes on about how he doesn't know anything about dating, but wants them to confirm that this is what a good dater should be doing. Except for the two hos part, yes. Heather says that she's not much of a dater. Both Bret and Maggie want to hear more, and Maggie asks whether being a dancer makes Heather hate guys. Heather snaps that no, in fact it makes her an expert at men. Men who like to stuff dollar bills into the g-string of a linebacker with huge knockers, maybe. Heather interviews that Magdalena is a hater, and can't even get through one dinner without a stupid stripper comment. I say, if you want people to forget you're a stripper, then don't swing around the pole whenever you get a minute of free time. Read a book! Utilize some very strong makeup remover. Play some Yahtzee.

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Rock of Love

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