Rock of Love

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Rockin' the Rents

Back at the house, Bret thanks the parents for spending time with him and talking about their daughters/former sister-in-law-like-entities. And then we go to Ambre's dad, Randy, for the quote of the episode: "I think any father feels like, you know, their daughter deserves probably better than Bret. But he's a good guy." Stephanie hopes that Bret is clear that Daisy and Chuck -- and she does call him Chuck -- are just friends. Tommy had a great time, and would definitely welcome Bret into his family. Awww.

The families leave and on the eve of the final elimination Ambre decides that, since she thinks she's going home, it's a good time to get some stuff off of her chest. She tells Destiney that she's not sure if she has completely given her heart to Bret, or if this is just a party for her. Destiney, who looks better than she's ever looked, I have to say, replies that it's hard for her to give her heart 100% when she doesn't know if the feeling is being returned. She's an unlikely voice of reason, for sure, but there you have it. She adds that she's open to Bret, but isn't going to proclaim that she's in love with him because she doesn't know that yet. Destiney is clearly not desperate and sad enough to win this show. That's like two swords in a heart tattooed on the back of your neck, isn't it? But, seriously. Finding a demonstration of good judgment on this show is like finding a pearl in a Chicken McNugget. Well done, Destiney!

Destiney asks the others if they are in love with Bret. They both say they are, and Destiney looks surprised. Ambre can't control her untamed heart, and similarly Daisy will be mad if somebody else who doesn't love Bret takes her place. Destiney says she's there for Bret and has done all that she can do, but the bottom line is she hasn't gotten to spend enough time with him to be able to make a declaration of love. Daisy asks Destiney if she'd still be there if it was Rock of Love: Jon Bon Jovi or -- wait for it -- Rock of Love: John Stamos. I mean, I guess Uncle Jesse did play with the Beach Boys that one time, right? Destiney secretly loves her some John Stamos, and can't answer the question. If Bret really wants honesty, I think he's got it right here. Let's see how far it gets Destiney, shall we?

At eliminations, Daisy looks like Porno Twist N' Twirl Barbie, Ambre looks like a fucking bluestocking, and Destiney looks like she's going as a Robert Palmer girl for Halloween. Bret enters and tells us that at this moment he doesn't know who he's going to eliminate. He hates having to make this choice. Mostly because they're all such losers, right? And I mean, is there any way Daisy isn't winning this thing? Maybe if her face finally melts off under the hot lights of elimination Bret will finally reconsider. Bret begins by addressing Ambre. He loves her drive, her ambition, her intelligence, her funniness, her AARP card that gets discounts at the movies. However, Bret wants to make sure that theirs is not just a business relationship. What kind of fucked up old-ass wig-wearing entrepreneurs would they be? Bret loves that Destiney is a rock n' roll girl, and feels blessed to have been able to meet her father. Aw, me too! The downside to Destiney, says Bret, is that she's in a possible transitional period. What the heck does that mean? Bret wonders if they're connecting at the wrong time.

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Rock of Love

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