Brandi calls it the most horriblest music ever. I could not describe it better. She mocks Lacey's walk in the video quite well, and Lacey herself does a mockery of Brandi's video, which is apparently called, Dicksuckery: The Blow Job Brandi Story. Yes, Brandi apparently made a porno. She says she was young and stupid. See, I love Brandi. She's just like, "Yeah, whatever, I did porn." Riki asks if there were other things that happened between Bret and Lacey that we didn't see on TV. Brandi says that the reason she took herself out of it at the end was because she heard Lacey fucked him, and that turned her off. Lacey says it's hearsay, and she heard a lot of stuff about a lot of people. Brandi notes that she wasn't the one sneaking into his bedroom every night. She quips, "I don't wanna be with him after he slept witchu." Riki dismisses Brandi, who looks more than ever like a young Kim Zimmer.
Oh, and ha! It's time for Lacey to play a song she wrote about her experiences on the show. It's called "Shallow," by Lacey and Nocturne. It goes something like this, "I'm here to finally take the truth out of the shadow / I could care less about any of you all / I swear to God you've never met someone so shallow / I'd go out of the way to leave you feeling small." The other girls look like they got a whiff of the aforementioned smellovision, except for Brandi C., who is rocking out. Anyway, Lacey sucks.
After a commercial break, Lacey's still on the fucking couch. Riki asks the rest of the girls to comment on Lacey. Mia says that one day, Lacey decided she was going to run streaking through the house while everyone else was having a barbeque. Mia wound up with a whole lot of uninvited firecrotch in her face and was forced to throw her strawberry daiquiri on it. She says, "If you're gonna streak, that's your own will, but don't come up to me if it's not well maintained." Oooh, she got the Vanessa Hudgens treatment! Lacey's all, "Who is that, was she on the show?" and Mia says that at least she was able to leave with her dignity. She gets a big round of applause.
Oh, and then it's the story of friends torn apart. Yes, it's time to take a look at Heather and Lacey. The whole montage is from the "Meet the Parents" episode, which is really all you need. Heather, who is rocking some long extensions, comes up on stage to friendly applause. Riki asks her how Lacey rode her coattails. Heather says that Lacey made an alliance with her then turned on her, and that's when she lost it. Riki asks if there's a friendship between them now. Lacey says that she's hurt by the fact that Heather thinks she was riding her coattails. She was attracted to Heather as a friend because she's a strong woman. She does acknowledge that it was wrong of her to go talk to Bret about Heather's relationship with her parents before talking to Heather about it and apologizes. However, she says, the way that Heather retaliated against her was below the belt. Heather apologizes for that, saying that it made her look bad too, and she doesn't really think Lacey is a whore. First of all, it made Heather look awesome, and second of all, she does really think that Lacey is a whore. But whatever, friends again, blah blah blah. They hug, and Riki says they should hug and make out. He's as much of a douche as Bret.