Rock of Love

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Season 1 Reunion

Lacey finally gets the hell off of the stage, and we get to spend more time with Heather. We get a montage of Heather and Bret's connection, and Heather's connection with a tattoo needle, with bonus footage of Jes telling us that this bitch has lost her fucking mind. Riki asks what she was thinking with the tattoo. Heather says that she's gotten a few more since then, and asks if we want to see her newest one. Riki takes off a bandage on the back of her neck to reveal a "sucks" below "Bret." Riki says sarcastically that he's glad to see she's not bitter, and Heather reveals that it's a joke -- a hilarious joke! No one is laughing, but the audience claps for her anyway. Oh, and then Bret comes out! He gives Heather a hug. Riki asks if there was a time on the show when there were feelings between him and Heather. Bret says that there wasn't a time when there WEREN'T feelings between him and Heather. They hit it off from the get-go. Riki asks if Heather still feels "anger feelings" toward Bret. Heather says he hurt her, but she's not angry. And then Bret says that it was kind of a turn-on. If you hurt someone and they're not angry and upset, that's the first sign that they didn't give a crap. Well, how convenient that you've decided to hurt them, then. Bret says his decision was difficult to make and he thinks that he and Heather could have a great friendship AND sexual relationship, but in this show he had to choose. And then I don't know what the fuck the two of them start talking about -- it's all, ha ha, we're hilarious, bitter beer face shoot me the finger, ha. The hell? Riki says that this is proof that this wasn't all for TV -- there was something happening between them on the show, and there's something happening now, and it's genuine. And I actually think that's true.

However! Bret didn't choose Heather. He chose Jes. We watch their awkward and painful journey unfold. Much slurpy kissing is involved. Riki says that everyone has been wondering if Bret and Jes's feelings for each other have been able to endure the six months that they were apart. Bret looks super-nervous, and Heather is wiping away a tear. And then Jes comes out! She gives Bret a friendly hug and then TOTALLY gives him the cheek when he goes to kiss her. Bret sits next to Jes on the couch because he wants to be closer. She leans toward the elbow on the other side, as Bret leans toward her. The body language here is really amazing.

Riki asks Jes what it was like to witness what just happened between Bret and Heather. Jes says that she feels for Heather, because Heather wears her heart on her sleeve. That's maybe a downfall, because someone can grab it, take it, run with it, and stomp on it. She's not saying that Bret did that, but he might not have held onto it with enough care. Jes says that the whole Rock of Love situation was a mindfuck for her. When the show was said and done, Bret drove Jes to the hotel and didn't even get out of the car to walk her to her room. Riki stresses that Bret wasn't supposed to have contact with Jes outside of the house, and Bret adds that everyone was freaking out that he even left with her. He thought it was pretty ballsy of him to tell the producers to fuck themselves. Jes tells Bret that if it was real for him, she thinks he made the wrong decision. HO! And I have to admit that when this first aired, I might have jumped off of the couch, pumped my fist, and yelled, "VICTORY IS MINE!" even though that doesn't make any sense. But still: HA! Awesome. Bret is, pardon the pun, flipping his wig. Bret wonders why Jes didn't tell him before that she thought Heather was the one. Maybe you should have been able to figure out who you wanted for your girlfriend yourself, you moron. Jes says that Bret and Heather laugh about things that she doesn't even understand. That's just how I feel. Heather says that she and Bret just look at each other and laugh. Sometimes I look at both of them and laugh, too! Does this mean I'm one with their connection? Jes sees how Heather truly feels, and the bond that they have, and their instant connection. She thinks that Heather was the one.

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Rock of Love

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