At dinner, Bret toasts to one of the best, awesomest groups -- the sexy six. Lacey starts in on the animal-rights stuff. Brandi can't take it anymore, and gets up and leaves. Lacey thinks this is an attention-getting tactic. If so, it works, as Bret goes to see her. She tells him she can't stand Lacey and can't live with her any longer. All the bitching is making her mentally and physically ill. Bret finally realizes that everyone in the house, with the possible exception of Heather, hates Lacey. And he, always quick on the uptake, is starting to see some of the suckage himself. Brandi tells Bret that she's afraid she's going to attack Lacey, and can't be responsible for her actions when she's in a rage. To which I say, DO IT. Bret tells Brandi that he likes her, and asks her to hang tight for the night. He wonders if Lacey is truly crazy, as opposed to just crazy for him. He returns to the dinner table. Big John enters to announce that it's elimination time, and that there will be no one on one chats tonight. Mia's pissed that not even her shirt that looks like broken rib bandages got her an in with Bret. You can't blame him, really. Mia is pretty dull.
Elimination! Everyone hopes that Lacey is going home. Except for Heather, who is too focused on her formidable blush to notice. Do you think she blushes her entire body? Or, rather, rouges? Bret calls Jes first. HA! Suck it, Lacey. Heather, who I think actually is wearing one of Bret's weaves as part of the giant pouf on her head, is called next. She is wearing yet another dress that is part of the prom collection at Rave. Sam is called next, and also agrees to continue to rock Bret's world. They've apparently gotten through their rough patch, at least for a half-hour or so. Finally, Brandi is called. This, of course, leaves Lacey and Mia in the final two. Bret says that he knows Lacey is crazy according to what the other girls say. He feels a connection to Mia, but is trying to decide if it's too little, too late. He calls Lacey to him. Brandi is mad that Lacey gets to stay, and wonders if what she did to Bret in his bedroom has anything to do with it.
And then...HA! Bret says, "You are crazy, and as we had a talk about our mediocrisy [sic] today, and how much I despise mediocrisy [again, SIC!!!], because I don't really relate to it. And being creative artists, we both understand that." Okay, let's just take this on its own for a minute. If you can get past "mediocrisy," you'll see that a topless irony is swinging gleefully on the pole. I mean, "I grab my hat and I grab my shoes / Tonight I'm gonna hit the streets and cruise." It's this standard of quality, in areas as divergent as lyricism and '80s bang pouf, that have made Bret the highly acclaimed and respected artist he is today. You just can't phone that shit in.