At the homestead, Kristy Joe talks with Daisy and Destiney about the Stroller Derby challenge. Kristy Joe says that, as a mom, she knows how strollers work. Kristy Joe has KIDS? Or A KID? Daisy says that she's not a mom, so she didn't know. Catherine, however, is, says Daisy, but Kristy Joe adds that she couldn't skate. Daisy interviews passionately that her team did the best they could, and she thinks they did a damn good job. Except for the severe head trauma and internal organ damage inflicted on Baby Bret, that's totally correct.
Meanwhile, back to the date. Bret takes his lovely ladies to Ivan Kane's Forty Deuce nightclub and burlesque parlor. Angelique is very excited, since she is a stripper and this is her atmosphere. I thought Angelique's atmosphere was a place where oxygen was replaced with toxic fumes that only she has mutated to inhale safely? Ivan Kane greats this fearsome foursome and tells them that the club's been closed down just for them. They'll first get to see one of Forty Deuce's professional burlesque dancers perform; then each of the ladies will get to show what they've got onstage. And then, I imagine, the earth will implode and we'll all start to feel a strange burning sensation and scream, "My eyes! My eyes!" Aubrey is excited because she's been a trained dancer since she was seven. Aw, Little Miss Sunshine all grown up! Bret tells Ivan that he might have a recruit in Angelique. Ivan, because he seems to have some sense, looks terrified.
Back at the house, Kristy Joe tells Catherine that her teammates said her maternal instincts and skating didn't come through for them, and they were disappointed. She's sort of laughing when she says it, but doesn't seem to follow it up with, "Oh, I'm just kidding." When Catherine gets offended, Kristy Joe just replies that that's what they said. Even though this whole thing is so stupid, Kristy Joe is in for a world of hurt.
The date continues with a performance from burlesque dancer Dakota. She's, like, a speed dancer. Both Bret and Angelique think she's sexy, even if, Angelique points out, she leaves her clothes on. Well, some of her clothes. Turns out Dakota is going to give the ladies some instruction. Angelique just wants to get nekkid, but Dakota tells her that this is all about the art of the tease. Angelique says she knows all about this, probably because she thought she heard Dakota say this was all about farting with ease. Inna Tuna does her burlesque dance first. Bret thinks she's a sexy meatball, even if she can't dance for crap. If you've ever wondered what Fiona from Shrek would look like writhing around on the floor, I suggest watching this scene closely. Aubrey is next and ready to impress. Bret thinks she was really good. If you've ever wondered what Mr. Peanut would look like in a satin gown and thigh high boots without his monocle, this is another segment worthy of the slo-mo treatment.









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