This, of course, means that Erin is safe. Heather interviews, "What the fuck is this? He's keeping Erin? This is such bullshit. Erin is an airhead with circus tits. She needs to leave." Something about Heather's passionate grime is kind of charming. Bret asks Erin for serious if she has a boyfriend, and she tells him she does not. He interviews that his heart told him Erin was telling the truth, and that someone like her could turn out to be a great person, so that's why he's giving her a second chance. But, like, she doesn't even deserve to...oh, never mind. Tawny is super-bitter about leaving, especially when Bret's keeping girls who have boyfriends and are engaged. But...oh, never mind. Tiffany says that Bret missed out on the person he could take home to mom. Faith? Tiffany then spits. Oh, Tiff. I'll miss you. Faith says that she's too good for Bret, and that what she's looking for in a person is probably opposite of what he is looking for. Faith doesn't want a man with gigantic knockers? Her loss. Tamara interviews, "I think this is a good time for me to make my exit. This is good. Not bad. Although Bret was good, too. Maybe. Not that I would know." We see her go up the stairs, and then there is some rattling of doors. Bret yells up that she has to go out the front door. Tamara interviews that maybe if she were smarter, she'd be there longer and adds that the correct pronunciation of her name is TAM-a-ra. NOW who's the dumb one, Bret?
The kept women toast. Erin says that if the catty bitches want to get rid of her, she's going to give them a dose of their own medicine. I'll bet it's illegal to carry around that medicine without a prescription. Or it's the kind of Sudafed you have to get behind the counter. In either case, I can't wait.
Next...motocross! And Rodeo has to manhandle her a bitch. But first it's...
Bret's boner comment countdown!
6. [On telling Erin she gives good phone sex] "That English thing? I'm like, ba-bing!"
7. [On telling Rodeo she gives good phone sex] "That bad boy went up and stayed up! It never came back down!"
8. [On Brandi C. crying because Erin made fun of her meth-scratched face] "When she spoke in that little titmouse voice, it just turned me on beyond any belief."