Brandi C., still in her underwear, and Kristia go have a talk with Bret about Erin's mean comment. Turns out Brandi was in a car accident last year and had forty-seven stitches in her face. Well, at least she has a reason for the two pounds of makeup, I guess. Brandi whines that Erin made her cry. Bret is shocked, but interviews that he knows that under those humongous DDs there was a heart of gold. Brandi says her face is like a disability because it's something she can't help, and asks whether, if she were in a wheelchair, it would be something to make fun of. And really, Brandi has plenty of other disabilities that one could make fun of, so there's no reason to go for the low blow. In any case, Brandi C. being so upset makes Bret both upset and horny. Brandi hopes that this is enough to make Erin get the boot.
Big John greets the girls with some more Bret Mail. It says, "Good morning my sweet ladies/For the three girls who made me quiver/Let's spend some time alone/The rest of you who didn't deliver/You have to stay at home./Get ready for tonight my girls/You know the stakes are high/Four of you will pack your bags/And have to say goodbye." Date plus elimination! That's a packed Bret Mail. Erin is excited for her date, and says she wants to show Bret a little bit and get him to want more. To think that there is more clown boob that we have not yet seen is truly terrifying. Bret picks up Erin, Rodeo, and Lacey. Heather says that Erin had better enjoy it while she can: "'Cause you'll be out of here soon, broad." I am totally going to start calling people "broad." It'll make me sound stripper-tough, even though my skin won't look like literal Teflon, à la Heather.
Bret takes his three dates to Jim Henson Studios, where musicians love to record. There they meet Don Was, whom Bret tells us is one of the greatest producers ever. He's also one of the only men living who can claim to have walked the dinosaur. The girls help themselves to a drink, naturally, and Bret plays them his latest crappy track in process. It is to music what his hair is to follicular degeneration. And for a special treat, Bret wants each of the girls to contribute to it. He takes Lacey into the studio first, and she adds some high harmony on the chorus, which has something to do with December and remembering. At least it wasn't a moon in June. Lacey's voice makes me want to stab out my eye. I know that doesn't make any sense. It's a visceral reaction. She, of course, reminds us that she's a true musician and says that's where their bond started. They make out, and I again want to cut out my tongue. I shall have no body parts left by the time the season is over. Maybe one finger. Actually...no.