Rock of Love

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Talk Dirty To Me

Elsewhere in catfighting, Heather shows the others a negligee that her dog chewed up, and Dallas says she should kill it. She notes that she only eats and wears animals. Lacey interviews that she's really passionate about PETA, and thinks that Dallas is a heartless, hateful bitch. Have I mentioned that during all of this, the girls are still in their lingerie? Oh, you just assumed? Okay. Lacey and Dallas antagonize each other until finally Lacey says she can't share a room with Dallas anymore. Brandi C. is also packing up and moving away from Erin. She tells the other girls that Erin made fun of her car accident, conveniently leaving off the part where she said Erin was clown-titted and fucking stupid. Heather is pissed, since Brandi C. is one of her girls, and is also still all riled up about the fiancé thing. She says that the shit's going to hit the fan and Erin will be sorry. I bet that house always smells like the shit and/or cheese has hit the fan.

Brandi C., still in her underwear, and Kristia go have a talk with Bret about Erin's mean comment. Turns out Brandi was in a car accident last year and had forty-seven stitches in her face. Well, at least she has a reason for the two pounds of makeup, I guess. Brandi whines that Erin made her cry. Bret is shocked, but interviews that he knows that under those humongous DDs there was a heart of gold. Brandi says her face is like a disability because it's something she can't help, and asks whether, if she were in a wheelchair, it would be something to make fun of. And really, Brandi has plenty of other disabilities that one could make fun of, so there's no reason to go for the low blow. In any case, Brandi C. being so upset makes Bret both upset and horny. Brandi hopes that this is enough to make Erin get the boot.

Big John greets the girls with some more Bret Mail. It says, "Good morning my sweet ladies/For the three girls who made me quiver/Let's spend some time alone/The rest of you who didn't deliver/You have to stay at home./Get ready for tonight my girls/You know the stakes are high/Four of you will pack your bags/And have to say goodbye." Date plus elimination! That's a packed Bret Mail. Erin is excited for her date, and says she wants to show Bret a little bit and get him to want more. To think that there is more clown boob that we have not yet seen is truly terrifying. Bret picks up Erin, Rodeo, and Lacey. Heather says that Erin had better enjoy it while she can: "'Cause you'll be out of here soon, broad." I am totally going to start calling people "broad." It'll make me sound stripper-tough, even though my skin won't look like literal Teflon, à la Heather.

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Rock of Love

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