Bret takes his three dates to Jim Henson Studios, where musicians love to record. There they meet Don Was, whom Bret tells us is one of the greatest producers ever. He's also one of the only men living who can claim to have walked the dinosaur. The girls help themselves to a drink, naturally, and Bret plays them his latest crappy track in process. It is to music what his hair is to follicular degeneration. And for a special treat, Bret wants each of the girls to contribute to it. He takes Lacey into the studio first, and she adds some high harmony on the chorus, which has something to do with December and remembering. At least it wasn't a moon in June. Lacey's voice makes me want to stab out my eye. I know that doesn't make any sense. It's a visceral reaction. She, of course, reminds us that she's a true musician and says that's where their bond started. They make out, and I again want to cut out my tongue. I shall have no body parts left by the time the season is over. Maybe one finger. Actually...no.
Next up is Rodeo, who is wearing, like, a stripper ballgown. Bret asks her if she's ready to give it to him, musically speaking, and she replies with her patented, "Nnn HUH HUH HUH HUH! Nnn huh HUH HUH HUH!" She says that contributing to Bret's music is a dream come true, and adds that it's almost like they were in tune together. "Almost" being the operative word. But the great part about Rodeo is that she doesn't even have to sing! She just moans roughly on beat. Don Was -- who I'm sure has seen some crazy bitches in his day -- just laughs. Rodeo interviews, "Oh my God, did I get aroused. Oh, shit! Nnn HUH HUH HUH HUH! Nnn huh HUH HUH HUH!" This is followed by "I'm turned on. I could actually have an orgasm if I had to. Nnn HUH HUH HUH HUH! Nnn huh HUH HUH HUH! I'm sorry." Oh, Rodeo. Believe you me, I am sorry, too. Lacey doesn't see Rodeo as a threat at all, but her eons-long makeout session with Bret on the couch might suggest that, in fact, she is. However, the batshit crazy factor might bear out Lacey's point.
Finally, there is Erin. Her clown tit-to-waist ratio is really something to behold. She is not musically inclined and has no experience in the studio. What does Bret think of this? You guessed it. Turn-on. A beard thicker than Don Was's? Turn-on. A goiter mysteriously coming out of the left armpit? Turn-on. Bret gets behind Erin as she writhes and does dirty nanny speak into the microphone. He then interviews, totally seriously, "Her moaning and groaning actually brought the song to a new level." Tchaikovsky once said the same. Erin talks to Bret about how she's smart and not that aggressive and sexual but not a slut and he admits to us that he can't take his eyes off of her clown tits. And, I mean, if you have honeydew-sized knockers, I think that's part of the goal, so you can't fault the guy for this.
Back at the house, the bad girl A Team Varsity Squad celebrates its superiority in all things by writing "A Team" in nail polish on a sheet of lined paper. Jes's response? "Stupid bitches." Jes is my kind of girl. In the studio, Bret and the girls get to listen to the horrible, horrible track. Bret says he hears a hit, and Don Was just kind of laughs and looks at his watch. Overall, Bret is happy about the experience because it taught him a lot about the girls' personalities, and also gave him the opportunity to suck face.