Rock of Love

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The Casting Special

Her Kid [offscreen]: I wanna go!
Terrifying Random Girl 12: It doesn't matter. You need to sit down in that chair and be quiet. I promised you some ice cream. You can have some ice cream if you sit down in that chair and be quiet. [Pause.]
Casting Guy: Piercings?

Dallas: I saw an ad in the paper to be a geisha, and I was like, you know, "Dallas loves trips, and Dallas loves free trips, so why the fuck not go to Japan and be a geisha?"

Random Girl 12: I designed his fiery tattoo that's in Japanese, and I actually researched it, Japanese flaming letters, and it went right above my ass, and it said "Exit Only."

Casting Girl: So you had to act like Marilyn Monroe?
Brandi C.: Yeah, you had to be in character at all times.

Casting Girl: Do something for me.
Brandi C.: Oh, just very dainty, just like, [high baby voice] "Oh, oh, oh thank you." Like, very, kind of...not really drunk, but kind of just...[high baby voice] "Oh, very girly, very, oh thank you, dainty!"

Tiffany: I'm in the PTA. [You and Janice Dickinson, honey.] Special talents? I can...[moves boobs...without touching them!] I do it to music, whatever.

Random Aged Lady 13: Here's the bottom line, it's like, if you're not putting out, your man's leaving you. That's the bottom line, isn't it? Have I learned in my life, or have I learned in my life? If you're not putting out, your man's going somewhere else. So this rock star's not going anywhere.

Random Lady 14: My boobs...these are mine. My boobs. They're big now because I'm gonna start my period. They'll go down.

Random Girl 15: We're waiting for the car, and she kind of sort of sat in the planter and passed out in the bush.

Random Girl 16: You know, it's getting hot and heavy, we're about to get it on and his pants come off...he has one leg. I know, it's hilarious. He had one leg, the other one was prosthetic. And I was like, oh my God, I didn't know what to do. I'm sitting there, like, um..."I've gotta work. I've gotta go, I'm sorry." So I call up my friend Kathy and I'm like, "Oh my God, I almost had sex with a one-legged man! I'm, like, freaking out." [If she had made it on the show, she could also brag that she had had sex with a three legged man.] She's like, "I thought you knew." I was like, "How would I know?" She's like, "Well he was wearing shorts, you know, when he sat down didn't you kind of see, like, the little plastic part?"

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Rock of Love




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