Rock of Love

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Tour Bus Challenge

Back at the house, there is a note. Lacey reads it. It says, "Ladies, looks like my date will run late tonight. Chances are I won't be able to spend any more time with you before this evening's elimination. So I'm looking for some help. I need you all to work together to create a list stating the biggest reason why each of you should go home." That is J.J. Walker level good times, right there. The girls sit at the kitchen table together, and Lacey interviews that she's excited to have one more opportunity to rattle the others. Sam is up first for the collective bashing, and Lacey thinks they should put that Sam is jealous/insecure. Sam interviews that Lacey is a nasty, mean, fucking cunt bitch. Seriously: Tiffany called it. Then it's Heather's turn. Jes says she hasn't seen who Heather truly is. Heather, wearing giant sunglasses and silver lame, says that's so weird because this is totally her everyday. Mia is next, and Lacey says she's not really into Bret. Mia interviews that Lacey is a crazy, psychotic cold-hearted bitch. Mia tells Lacey that just because she doesn't see it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Lacey's all, "I understand." That's the thing about her -- if you come back at her with ANYTHING, she can't take it. As we shall soon see.

Then it's time to write something about Brandi, who is of course not there since she's on her date with Bret. Lacey asks Jes to write, verbatim, "Do you really want a girlfriend who's known for blow jobs?" You're asking this of Bret Michaels? Is that a rhetorical question? We learn that back home, Brandi's nickname is "Blow Job Brandi." I'm sure that Rimjob Rhonda and Blumpkin Belinda had a hoot coming up with that moniker. Lacey thinks that Brandi is just a groupie and isn't really there for Bret. Then it's time for Jes. All that anybody can come up with is age and location. How about "too good for Bret?" Next is Magdalena. Lacey says that Magdalena doesn't have feelings for Bret, and is there just to be on TV. Magdalena interviews that Lacey is a dirty, sneaky, man-looking, devil-possessed freaky whore. And I mean, if Lacey ever has to answer the question, "Name three adjectives to describe yourself," she's going to have a LOT to choose from.

Speaking of Lacey, it's her turn. Joy! Sam says she's not sincere. Lacey asks if she means sincere about Bret, and Sam says she means about everything. Jes adds that she's not sincere and can't control her anger. Again, Lacey wants clarification on what she's not sincere about, and Mia answers, "Just in general." Sam tells Lacey that when she talks to her, she sees through her. And then Lacey, who's like the biggest fake loser camera whore and couldn't wait to trash talk everyone else, has the balls to get all upset about it. She starts going on about how she didn't come there to make friends, and Sam excellently asks why, if she doesn't want to be their friend, she cares what they think. Lacey says it's because they're telling Bret something that isn't true. Jes interviews that Lacey is manipulative and vindictive and she's about to kill her. They all basically tell Lacey to shut the fuck up. Lacey thinks that the others are full of shit, and interviews that they'd better watch their backs.

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Rock of Love

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