Meanwhile, Bret and Brandi are having a great time at the hockey game. Bret likes that Brandi is a tomboy, and wants to have sex with her while she changes a tire, which I really think would restrict her mobility. But, cheaper than a AAA membership, I guess. Bret gets asked to appear on the giant screen in the rink. He does, and the crowd goes wild. They would have gone wilder if this had been shown on the big screen. No, seriously, click on it now. It's Bret Michaels' video for "Raine," a song from his solo album Songs of Life. Yes, Songs of Life is a really queer album name, but that's not what stands out most here. Click on it, watch for a minute, and then come back. I'm going to ask you a question. Done? Okay, here's my question. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ON HIS HEAD?!?!?!?!?!?!!? No, for reals. He looks like a guest on Springer who is half-heartedly trying to retain his anonymity because would YOU want everyone in your town to know that your wife's 400 pound bipolar phone sex operator sister was your mistress and watch you sweat out that paternity test? I would rather them know that than SEE ME IN A WIG MADE OUT OF PUKEY HAIRBALLS! Actually, I feel like Bret's management got this wig from an organization called Locks of Hate that actually steals hair from cancer patients in the middle of the night and repurposes it for aging rock stars. They're all like, "What are you talking about, Sebastian Bach, you've got the mane of Fabio! Rock n' roll!" Seriously, dude. You're a grown man wearing a cheap wig. If you're going to go there, go balls to the wall and invest in a Moonstruck era Cher wig. Though then Bret might look like Captain Hook. But seriously, it would be an improvement. WIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In any case, Bret's date with Brandi M. ranks up there with some of the best dates he's ever had. They make out and I'm sure, though we don't see it, that Brandi lived up to her nickname. BECAUSE SHE HASN'T SEEN THE WIG.
Back at home, Bret and Brandi tell the others about their date. Bret goes to take a shower and think about which of the magnificent seven to eliminate. Once he's gone, Mia and Jes tell Brandi about their charge to write down why each girl is not good for Bret. Brandi asks what they put down, and Mia says all she could think of was Brandi's burping and farting issues. Brandi then goes to confront Lacey and Heather. Fucking Lacey says that once Brandi's name came up, Mia, Jes and Magdalena called her a slut groupie whore. Brandi, being much smarter than Bret, doesn't believe shit that Lacey says. Lacey, however, thinks she's a fucking genius. She goes back to double check with Jes and Mia, who tell Brandi how eager Heather and Lacey were to bring up her reputation as a blow job queen. Brandi wants to shove her hockey stick up both Heather and Lacey's ass. That would be one crusty totem pole. Jes interviews that Lacey sucks at life. Everyone hates her.