With eliminations looming, Bret wants to speak with some of the girls. Magdalena is first, and Bret notes that her aloofness makes him wonder if she's invested in him. Maggie says that she's not going to hang all over someone, because if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. Bret doesn't fee like the burning love is there for him, so it's hard to give back burning love. In comparison, the herpes pass back and forth so easily. Maggie says she prefers to show her emotions privately. Bret still isn't connecting with her. Oh, and then fucking Sam is bawling. She tells Bret that she's too sensitive to be there and she can't take it. Bret likes her, but thinks she's kind of bipolar. He asks her if she wants to leave, and she says no, that she likes him so much. At the same time, her heart is so big, and she doesn't want to fall in love in front of millions of people and get hurt. Or, tens of people. Bret holds her and notes that she's freaking him out. That's exactly what you want to hear from your potential boyfriend in your darkest hour.
Heather does herself in Aqua Net and spritzes some Prince Matchabelli in her cleavage to ensure that her windsong stays on Bret's mind. She knows she and Bret have connected and is confident that she's staying. Maggie is a little nervous, and so is Lacey given that the other girls told Bret she's insincere. Bret reads the letter, and wonders if Lacey is the cause of all the drama going on in the house. Well duh, you wig-wearing dumb ass. Wait, make that "you wig- and red-vinyl-jacket-wearing dumb ass. I hope the Salvation Army of the Damned got full wardrobe credit on this show.
Okay, elimination time. Bret picks Brandi first, because she is fun and has some very special sexual qualities. Uh, so he's heard. Heather is bitter. Brandi will stay and continue to rock Bret's world. Next is Heather, who interviews that she's the best choice for him and that they're like one in the same. Everything she says is true. Jes is next, to Lacey's chagrin. Lacey thinks she's too young and immature, and that she's a prude. Oh, shut up. The next called is Mia. Finally, despite the fact that she sucks, Bret chooses to keep Lacey. He calls her "cankles," which is better than she deserves.
Thus, it comes down to Sam and Magdalena. Sam is freaking out. Bret says he sometimes has to make decisions based on what he's thinking, and what the girls are thinking as well. I think he grossly overestimates the amount of so-called "thinking" going on in all parts of the house, but okay. He calls Magdalena down and tells her that her tour ends here. He interviews that his life is about passion and excitement, and he didn't believe it was there with himself and Magdalena. Magdalena interviews that she appreciate that Bret's not wasting her time anymore. She does not seem broken up about leaving AT ALL. Good for her. Sam says that she does want to be there, and she and Bret agree to take it one day at a time. As Lacey swears that she'll take Sam and everyone else out , the girls toast with a delicious can of Bret's Brew, which I hear can also be used as a magic hair tonic.