Rock of Love

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Speedbumping Uglies

However, triumph! Farrah, Ashley and Kelsey drunkenly stumble into the theater where elimination is taking place. Ashley's pre-elimination interview is as such: "Listen. I can't even spell elimination. I don't even know where I am. Pffff. [Wander off.] [Wander back.] [Pose.]" Kelsey acknowledges that she drunkenly laid on a speed bump and wept, but gives herself credit for showing up and taking whatever Bret has to say to her. Bret enters and asks the girls if they had an awesome time at the concert. Ashley says she puked, like, a lot. Bret gets right to it and calls Kelsey to him. He tells her that the road probably isn't the place for the two of them to attempt to find love. It's too tough for Kelsey and her speed-bump embracing ways. Kelsey was trying to be who she was not, and Bret has to sometimes make decisions for people, and his decision tonight is that her tour will end here. Everyone appears to be shocked. Ashley whispers to Farrah, "I don't think she has any of my clothes, it's okay." Keep smiling, keep shining, because that's what friends are for. Kelsey exit interviews that Bret apparently can't handle a girl who likes to get drunk and lay on speed bumps. She's going to go home and be single and not think about guys for a while. However, she says, the next guy she finds definitely won't be 44. Oh, dis! He also probably won't be a rock star. Or wear a bedraggled wig.

Back at elimination, Bret gives Farrah and Ashley a little talking to about their drunken ways. Ashley interviews that she didn't even know what was going on at elimination, and was just trying to keep herself from puking on Bret. She's decided that she's done being drunk. Oh, that's no fun at all! Where's the joy in watching sober Ashley prepare a frozen dinner? Bret interviews that when Ashley and Farrah get together it's crazy, drunken, insane double trouble. And that's no good. For him. For us it's awesome. He's going to give them another shot, though, because he really likes them. But they're on thin ice that isn't used to handling such copious amounts of silicone. Bret interviews that on the road you can only party so hard until it catches up with you and bites you on the ass. He then adds, "Too bad Chelsea had to learn it the hard way." Wow, he really does develop deep, emotional connections with these girls, doesn't he? He ends with, "Love ya, miss ya, mean it, Kels." The fact that he put the extra effort into getting her name right that last time makes me think maybe he does mean it after all.

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Rock of Love




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