Brandi thinks that a couple of vodka and Red Bulls are going to aid her in her challenge-winning quest. Meanwhile, Lacey and Heather soak in their two-person Jacuzzi tub. I can't even imagine the shit that's floating in that water now. Dump that on the street, and it's bubonic plague 2.0. They're determined to make Brandi crack because, Heather says, she's just a groupie who's into Bret for all the wrong reasons. Could someone tell me what these mysterious "right reasons" are? Brain damage is the only one I can come up with. Conversely, an already drunk-sounding Brandi says that the ultimate plan should be to get Heather so trashed that she can't walk. Heather is built like '80s football star The Fridge, as well as an actual refrigerator. And, incidentally, probably has the "Superbowl Shuffle" on cassette tape in her car. Something tells me she can hold her liquor. Jes interviews that she doesn't really have a plan -- all she knows is that she doesn't want to get drunk and make an ass of herself. A couple of the other girls already claimed that one anyway.
And then -- ha! The Red Rock Casino Resort Spa presents a free fan appreciation concert -- Bret Michaels...of Poison! One night only! Feast buffet included. All you can eat or not, I totally would have bailed to catch Celine. Bret hits the stage in one of those tank tops you make by cutting the arms off of a t-shirt -- which, who wants to see that much pit, men stuck in the '80s? -- and his favorite flaming Patriot Act cowboy hat. And...wait. Does Bret Michaels shave his armpits? They look pretty hairless. Of course, there is an alternate explanation. Let's just say I wouldn't be surprised to see little pit bandanas make an appearance in the near future. Heather, deaf since birth, thinks Bret's unbelievable. Jes can't stop staring at him. Me either, man. Bret plays a song called "Driven" from his new album, Freedom of Sound. Clearly, you've never heard this song. It kills me to point you to a page where a loud, Bret-sung, "Ga ga ga ga ga!" is going to greet you unawares, but here you go.