Rock of Love

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Video Vixens

Previously: Bret promised to find and take out any of the girls who were there for the "wrong reasons." I'm assuming that the "right" reason is that they want to legitimately devote themselves to Bret Michaels, which is, in its own way, very, very wrong. It's an upside down world, isn't it? Ambre turned on her roommate Kristy Joe, starting a rivalry that can only be resolved in a kiddie pool full of pudding.

The girls work out, and Ambre worries that her life is going to be hell now that she exposed Kristy Joe for the train wreck that she is. She has to step up her game, she says. The thing is that everyone is always stepping up their game -- if we are to believe their interviews, that is -- so they all end up evening out. For her part, Kristy Joe is fixated on Bret saying, at the last elimination, that he hopes that her effort at being "real" isn't too little too late. She's not in the best state of mind today. As compared to every other day, when her state of mind is totally lucid. You can always tell where Kristy Joe is on the Complete Fucking Mess Scale by how much makeup she's wearing. When the eyebrows are totally gone, watch out.

Kristy Joe is realizing -- for the 112th time in three weeks -- that she really has a lot of shit back home to deal with. So she calls her second husband. He asks how everything is going. He totally thinks she's on, like, What Not to Wear or Celebrity Rehab or something. (He doesn't know she's not a celebrity.) She tells him that a lot of stuff that they went through started surfacing, and he doesn't know what that means. After a long pause, Kristy Joe says that she has a really strong connection with Bret. Husband 2 asks if this means that they're going ahead with the divorce. Kristy Joe thinks they should. Husband 2 sounds surprised. Maybe his first clue that things weren't going so well should have been that restraining order she's always prattling on about?

Husband 2 thinks the whole thing is ridiculous, and can't believe that the first call he gets from her in weeks has her saying that she wants to get a divorce. What I think is ridiculous is that the litmus test do determine if their relationship is going to work is whether she finds love on a VH1 reality show. They couldn't make it a joint effort and go on Temptation Island, at least? Husband 2 is peeved. Kristy Joe interviews that she didn't want to do this over the phone, but calling her second husband and telling him she wants the divorce for real is her way of telling the world that she's there for Bret, and loves Bret, and is ready to move on with her life. Such as it is. Also, did she not intimate that she was maaaaybe a little further along in the divorce process than this phone call would intimate?

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Rock of Love

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