Rock of Love

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Video Vixens

It's time to watch the videos! "Fallen" will be up first. Ambre is concerned that the other team's video is going to be super sexy, and of course that will appeal to Bret more. The "Fallen" video is pretty hilarious. Kristy Joe is sad in bed, tossing and turning. Megan, wearing only underwear, tries to coax her to have some fun, and then throws a pillow at her when she's denied. That's actually kind of realistic. And then Megan, still in her underwear, talks angrily to someone on the phone. And soon Kristy Joe comes running down the stairs and opens the door, where a mystery person hands her a red carnation. Ah, carnations, the flowers of discount love and gas station impulse buys. Nothing says "I love you" like the flower you get along with a pack of Marlboros, $20 worth of unleaded, and a Super Slim Jim. As Kristy Joe smiles, the video goes from black and white to color, almost as if a house had fallen on her head and only her feet were left poking out. Fin. The video gets a round of applause, and Bret tells Team B that they did a good job. Kristy Joe hopes that Bret realizes that the video shows her true feelings. Barf.

Next we have the "Go That Far" video." In it, Jessica basically goes from whorish schoolgirl to full-on lesbo stripper whore under the tutelage of Daisy and Destiney. It's autobiographical. We also learn that "Go That Far" is the song from whence the Rock of Love theme comes. Who knew there was more to it than backstage passes and limousines? Bret, who applied his eyeliner with a basting brush today, says that the whole thing was very nice. After seeing Team A's video, Ambre thinks that their stripping, bisexual antics are a lock for the win.

Bret tells both teams that they gave a great effort. He thinks that the "Go That Far" video is extremely sexy and cool, but he understands the concept of the "Fallen" video better. And the winner is "Fallen"! Ambre is psyched. She'll go on her solo date with Bret tonight, and tomorrow Kristy Joe and Megan will get their date. Kristy Joe is happy, but still wants to talk to Bret and get her issues hashed out. Again.

Desitney is pissed that stupid skank Kristy Joe gets another date with Bret. As she fixes dinner, she screams about how unfair it is that Kristy Joe is even still there, since she already packed her bags, like, three times. Kristy Joe is like MRSA. She enters and Destiney screams at her for a while before leaving. Kristy Joe is pretty cool about it all, I have to say, and just ignores her without crying or screaming back or anything. As Kristy Joe leaves the kitchen, a really haggard looking Daisy sarcastically says, "Have fun on your date tomorrow." Crappy Joe, she tells us, doesn't deserve to win. She wants her to take her shit -- which is already packed -- and fucking go. Daisy bawls at the breakfast nook.

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Rock of Love

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