Rock of Love

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Video Vixens

After the porno is made, Bret invites Kristy Joe to come down and see him. Jessica, Daisy, and Destiney are pissed that once again Kristy Joe is in Bret's room "working the magic." Kristy Joe tells Bret about her conversation with Husband 2, and how she's starting the process of the divorce. Bret has a quick take, and interviews that this is unbelievable, and means that Kristy Joe lied about when the relationship with her husband ended. Kristy Joe tells Bret that she'll always be honest with him. Except for all the times, like, 2 days ago when she wasn't. Jessica, Daisy, and Destiney sit on the stairs and weep, thinking that Bret has made his decision in Kristy Joe's favor. Bret asks Kristy Joe if there's anything else she wants to tell him, and she smiles as she says, "Other than I'm falling in love with you? Nope." Satish needs some Lysol to clean Kristy Joe's chakras, man. Bret tells us that he has absolute, heartfelt feelings for Kristy Joe, but he's a little confused. On one hand he thinks that she is really falling in love with him, but on the other he's not sure that she knows what she wants. She wants a lobotomy, if you ask me. Kristy Joe emerges from Bret's room and passes the Bitches of Yeastwick on the stairs. They hate her more than ever and try to put a hex on her by using the power of their collective fake parts.

Big John delivers Bret Mail. "Megan and Kristy Joe / Your video moves left me spellbound / Sexy scenes with a rockin' sound / I want to take you to the top / For a special date that may never, ever stop." Megan is not excited about sharing her date with Kristy Joe, and says that she'll make Bret spend equal time with her. Megan allows Kristy Joe to enter the limo first, which causes Big John to say, "Age before beauty." He hates Krusty Ho, too! The girls head to the Shade Hotel in Manhattan Beach, where they first have some food. Bret isn't sure how he's going to deal with Kristy Joe, but his strategy is to keep it cool and light. Megan capitalizes on this by straddling Bret and mauling him as Kristy Joe is, like, eating her sandwich. She has to get up and leave.

Once Kristy Joe is gone, Megan tells Bret that she hasn't spent much time with him and wants to be serious first. What does that even mean? I think this was some editing hack job rather than Megan's own dimness, but who knows. She tells Bret not to look away, and he replies that he's not looking away, he's looking at her tits. He is for sure a prince among men. Sometimes I kind of like Bret a little and I feel bad for making so much fun of his eyeliner and toolishness and follicular challenges. And then moments like these come along, and I remember that I'm doing a public service. Bret hasn't made a real connection with Megan, but is happy to suck face with her for as long as it takes. Which, by the looks of it, is a really long time.

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Rock of Love

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