Rock Star
Battle Of The Rock Stars/Lukas Leads the Band

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M. Giant: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Rocking A Hard Place

Tuesday

Brooke welcomes us to the first night of the two-night finale, giving a shout-out to the final four: Magni, Toby, Dilana, and Lukas. By this time tomorrow, one of them will be the frontman ("or woman," Brooke condescends) of Supernova. Brooke introduces those guys, too, as well as Dave Navarro. And the next thing to do is to get the season's big consolation prize out of the way. As you recall, we've been asked to vote for one of the eliminated Supernovices to return for an encore tonight. I haven't voted, and you probably haven't voted, but apparently someone did. And so, from the Nut Gallery, Dilana gets to introduce the return of Ryan Star. The paramedics backstage prepare for the worst.

Ryan takes the stage with a black Les Paul over his shoulder. Perhaps in the past couple of weeks he's had time to consider how churlish his farewell sounded, so he seems eager to mend some fences now. He immediately thanks Supernova for the "opportunity of a lifetime," saying he can't wait for their record. He also thanks the remaining Supernovices, saying, "May the best man -- or woman -- win." Condescending ass. He also thanks the fans for getting him there tonight, and leads the House Band into his original song, "The Back Of Your Car." It sounds as good as last time, and I find the performance a lot more enjoyable now that he's not desperately trying to stay in the competition. He can just relax and be himself. He keeps his guitar on the whole time, as opposed to flinging it across the stage. He doesn't climb or jump off of anything, or even start the song on the chorus for no reason. It makes him a lot less exhausting to watch. I could do without all the eyeliner he's rocking, though.

Once Ryan's done, Brooke comes out and asks him about his new album, which of course is called Dark Horse. He thanks Dave for that, and claims it's already available on the Rock Star website. I'll take his word for it. Brooke announces that in addition to winning the encore, Ryan's also getting a couple of other prizes. One of them is the product-placed car practically parked in the middle of the audience, and the other is a product-placed cell phone. Because I haven't sat through enough commercials for both of those goddamn things already this summer. Brooke cuts Ryan loose to go check out his new car. I hope they don't give him the keys until the people clear out of there, though. I can just see him in the driver's seat, looking at all the Supernova/Dilana/Lukas/Magni/Toby fans pressed against his windshield, and deciding to go "Dark Horse" in a totally new and tragic way.

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Rock Star

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