Rock Star
Battle Of The Rock Stars/Lukas Leads the Band

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: C+ | Grade It Now!
Rocking A Hard Place

So now its time to deal with Dilana. Dave's also on his feet as he says, "I absolutely adore you." He calls her a phenomenal singer and performer, and invites her along on the tour to play with the House Band. Not exactly a standout offer, since they've told us that the others are already doing that. Gilby also has something for her to think about afterwards: he's willing to help her write and produce a record of her own. Dilana looks thrilled, because God knows she needs a lot of help writing. Gilby says she's the only one he's made that offer to. Dave also offers to play guitar on said album. That should soften the blow. "I'm down," Tommy adds, even though he's going to be busy with Storm. Dilana pretends to think about it, then agrees. Dilana's farewell speech? It's to her fans, promising that she will put out a record with Gilby and Dave, "And it's going to kick some serious arse." Gilby and Dave wonder how she got this in her datebook so quickly. Then Dilana adds, "Lukas, kick arse, bitch!" And then Lukas is onstage alone, accepting the adulation that he has always known is his due.

Brooke comes out and stands next to Lukas, asking, "Hey, guys, are we forgetting something?" Dave agrees that he wants to be "entertained up in this bitch." But instead, the members of SuperNowWeHaveALeadSingerButNoName head up to join Lukas onstage. He gets great big hugs from Tommy and Gilby ("Enjoy this,") Gilby says, while a grumpy-looking Jason takes up position with his bass behind the mic stand. It's only a three-month tour, Jason seems to be telling himself through gritted teeth. Brooke introduces the band: "And here 'they' are together for the first time as a complete band," she says. Well, except for not having a name. "Lukas, how does it feel?" she asks. "Brooke," Lukas answers, "It feels just like this."

And SuperNoName starts playing "Be Yourself." The title of the song appears at the bottom of the screen as usual, but underneath it, where the band name usually goes, it just has a plug for tour tickets. Heh. And God knows what those tickets are going to say on them when they arrive. What's even more worrying is the fact that Lukas's voice doesn't really go all that well with Gilby's backup vocals. Oh well, too late now. Hey, hey, hey, ho, ho, ho. Everyone cheers for the brand-new band that doesn't have a name.

Brooke stands downstage with them, telling us to check out "this supergroup," whoever the hell they are, on tour with the House Band, "your favorite rockers," and The Panic Channel. Oh, and there's some contest on the Rock Star website where we can all win a chance to tour with the band. That sounds like just about the most awkward three months possible for me. Watch me end up sitting between Chris and Zayra at every meal. Brooke also tells us to be on the lookout for the next round of auditions and says, "I'll see you next summer." Can't fucking wait.

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Rock Star




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