Rock Star

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | 544 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Storm Drained

But no, instead Dilana starts "singing" "I want! You! To want me! I need! You! To Need me!" and so on, over nothing but quiet guitar chords while emphatically miming every word. There she goes, being all literal again. And then she signals the beginning of the song proper by hollering, "And I want you now." Which is the House Band's cue to launch into a thrash version of the song. Alas, Dilana is either so clueless about thrash or so far advanced that I can't even see her from where I am, but to my untrained ear it sounds like she can't even find the damn beat. She seems to be treating the backbeat as the downbeat, and I don't mind telling you that it kind of hurts my ears. Then she makes it worse at the end of the chorus by stopping the band entirely, wailing, "Ohhh, baby" and blowing a kiss into the microphone. Then she turns to signal the band to start up again, but there hasn't been enough rehearsal time to polish anything that fancy, and they all take a half-beat or so finding each other. Not good, not good at all, no matter how much Tommy seems to be enjoying it. A roadie comes out and conveys her on his shoulders to a platform in the middle of the audience for no reason, and she does her hopping there for a bit before catching a ride back. She ends with a powerful wail that showcases that ass-kicking voice of hers long enough to make us feel bad about a missed opportunity. Bad, bad, bad. Tommy's the only judge we've seen throughout, but now both he and Jason get to their feet to applaud. Except Jason is laughing his ass off. Well, whatever makes him fell better about having to boot Storm.

We come back from commercial with the women on stage left and the three guys still standing in the Nut Gallery. As they wait to hear which of them is the third one in the bottom three, Magni makes a "bring it" gesture. "Magni," Brooke says, and he heads over, all psyched up. So Brooke says, "Don't go anywhere, Magni. We'll be seeing you in the final week. Have a seat." Magni collapses to the floor, looking thrilled but kind of puzzled. That leaves Toby and Lukas, and Brooke tells Toby to sit down. Storm and Dilana's jaws would hit stage left in unison here if Dilana's didn't have a head start.

Rock Star

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