Rock Star
Getting To Know You/Phil Broken-Hearted

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Supernova's Bassist Gets His Phil

Tuesday

Dear God, what the hell is Brooke wearing tonight? It's like the top half of a cocktail waitress outfit from Caesar's Palace thrown on over a gold disco ball. So confusing. Introducing the Supernovices, she busts out a simile: they're "sitting over there like a bunch of people crammed into coach class," even though they now have more room than they did when there were three more of them. She adds that "only one of them will be hitching a ride on a private jet with these guys, Supernova." They really shouldn't write over her head like that. No one's ever going to believe that's something she'd actually say. Cheers from the audience as always, though. Jason got a haircut, and Tommy must have, too, because he's wearing a hat tonight. It's an asymmetrical leather porkpie number that makes him look like the world's oldest Dead End Kid. He's also wearing a vest with no shirt, which always dresses up any ensemble. Brooke also introduces Dave, who fails to hit on her at all. Brooke reminds us that Jason hit the stage last week, and that Gilby will be joining one of the Supernovices this week. She tries to be mysterious about it, even though those of us who caught the webisode already know that he's playing "Brown Sugar" with Jill. Sorry if that ruins the surprise. Brooke sets up this week's mansion flashback by saying that Supernova stopped by a few days ago to hang with the Supernovices.

The clip starts with the band and its twelve lead singers gathering around the dining room table. Gilby interviews that he appreciated the chance to get to know the contestants. Not enough to hire all of them and take Supernova in a Polyphonic Spree-inspired new direction, apparently, but still. Clip of Gilby telling the Supernovices that his daughter also plays guitar. Everyone coos like that's adorable, so I assume the little Clarkelet isn't twenty-three-years-old. Dilana interviews that Gilby is down-to-earth. And then Gilby stands up from the table and invites the Supernovices into the other room to "listen to some tunes." He means Supernova tunes, of course.

In the parlor, Gilby takes up position behind the console of a million-track recorder and starts head-bobbing as some new Supernova music starts pouring out of the speakers. Tommy does that thing where you let your sunglasses fall off your forehead and over your eyes, because he thinks it's cool. None of the Supernova tracks have any lyrics or, indeed, any vocals at all aside from the occasional "hey" or "whoo;" that's what the Supernovices are for, after all. They all sit around the music room, jamming and nodding appreciatively, because the cameras and the judges are watching. Lukas interviews that the music is "way better than I thought. I got excited, right here." He points where he gets excited. Just to clarify, "right here" is somewhere in his chest as opposed to a spot high on the far wall. Dana's interview describes it as "classic rock." When you're twenty-two, isn't stuff from the '90s classic rock? "Is that Candlebox? Turn it up, man!" Toby interviews that the tracks sound great. Storm describes it as "top down, cold beer, rebellious, good times, like the essence of rock & roll." Because even if her chances of winning the lead singer gig are slim, Supernova's going to need a PR flack, as well. Zayra interviews, "It's shit. I'm out." Not really, but I wish she would. Actually, I wish anyone would. It's probably wise of Supernova to wait until everyone has a month of their lives invested in this before busting out the actual tunes. Not that it's bad; some of it's catchy, but it's nothing spectacular. At the end of the listening party, Gilby explains that now the Supernovices know what the band is going for.

Back in the auditorium, Gilby says that he had fun hanging out with the Supernovices, but now, "There's no more excuses. You know what we're talking about." Yeah, Zayra. Jason says that they'll be hearing more Supernova tunes, and the competition will get more serious as they go. Because Jason has to say something at some point. Actually, that's not entirely fair; I understand that he talks plenty at the tapings; he's just so long-winded that his comments rarely make it to the air. But enough of this jibber-jabber. Tommy announces, "Let's crank this up, bitch."

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Rock Star

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