Rock Star

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A- | 414 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Nice Job. Get Out.

Coming back, Brooke reminds us that Zayra got a marriage proposal from Jason after her performance last week. Jason looks rightly mortified. This week, Zayra's singing "You Really Got Me" by the Kinks. And I have to admit, the arrangement is really cool. It's a complete departure from any version of this song I've ever heard, all percussive and exotic and mysterious, almost Middle-Eastern. If only Zayra herself didn't suck so bad. Her voice is even more grating in a lower key, and then at the end of the choruses she does this orgasm/moaning/crying thing which just gets the rest of the Nut Gallery laughing openly at her. And also me. The guitarist takes a short but wild solo, giving us all a much-needed break, and we see Jenny, Patrice, Magni, and Phil whispering cattily to each other in the Nut Gallery. When Zayra's mercifully finished (ending on a kiss noise), Gilby smirks and says that while he thinks she gives it her all, he doesn't think she has a clue as to what they're looking for as a singer. Seriously, it's like she thinks she's auditioning for Sy Snootles and the Max Rebo Band from Return of the Jedi. Before the boos in support of Zayra can really get started, she responds that they haven't told her. Um, did they have a meeting and she missed it? Because everyone else who's left seems to be up to speed. Gilby asks her whether she even owns any records that any of the judges have been on. "I've heard of your music," Zayra says, digging herself a big hole. The judges, including Dave, are like, "No, she di'int!" "I was wearing diapers when that was out," Zayra taunts. "OHHH!" Dave cries. "Snap!" The Nut Gallery loves it, as does the crowd. Zayra smiles like she won. Which, I guess she did, for now. Tommy just tells her she did a great job, and the Supernovans shake their heads and laugh. Brooke condescends, "We've got ourselves a tough group of girls." Let's hope they're waiting for her outside the auditorium after the taping's over.

Rock Star

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