Rock Star
It's Nothing Personal/Chris Doesn't Cut It

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B+ | Grade It Now!
Nice Job. Get Out.

Dave waits for her to get up, then says that while he appreciates her willingness to get into it, "the whole Courtney Love impersonation thing was a little uncomfortable." Jill claims not to know what Courtney Love did and that it was her interpretation. Over the rising cheers, she insists, "This was Jill Gioia coming out of her box!" Even though at the end of the performance it was almost vice versa for a second there. Dave doesn't let it go, telling her that she's sporting the look from the cover of the album in question. And, seriously, Jill. I remember when Live Through This was next to the checkout lane at Target, so it's not like this is some obscure little indie disc we're talking about. Of the actual performance, Gilby remarks, "I think you're a better singer than what you just screamed." Tommy, of course, just wants to know if Jill's wearing panties. I guess the audience blocked his view from where he was sitting. Jill plays it mysterious, like the rest of us couldn't read the damn label on them thirty seconds ago. But just you wait and see if the judges platform isn't a couple of feet higher next week. Over at the Nut Gallery, Jenny gives Jill a standing ovation. And then Jill has to stare into the camera and pretend that she's not pissed while Brooke towers next to her, giving the voting instructions. Jill's much better at pretending she's Courtney Love. Brooke promises that Chris is coming up next: "Can he redeem himself in front of Supernova?" What's funny is you can totally tell that Chris thinks he's already redeemed.

Coming back, Brooke reminds us that Zayra got a marriage proposal from Jason after her performance last week. Jason looks rightly mortified. This week, Zayra's singing "You Really Got Me" by the Kinks. And I have to admit, the arrangement is really cool. It's a complete departure from any version of this song I've ever heard, all percussive and exotic and mysterious, almost Middle-Eastern. If only Zayra herself didn't suck so bad. Her voice is even more grating in a lower key, and then at the end of the choruses she does this orgasm/moaning/crying thing which just gets the rest of the Nut Gallery laughing openly at her. And also me. The guitarist takes a short but wild solo, giving us all a much-needed break, and we see Jenny, Patrice, Magni, and Phil whispering cattily to each other in the Nut Gallery. When Zayra's mercifully finished (ending on a kiss noise), Gilby smirks and says that while he thinks she gives it her all, he doesn't think she has a clue as to what they're looking for as a singer. Seriously, it's like she thinks she's auditioning for Sy Snootles and the Max Rebo Band from Return of the Jedi. Before the boos in support of Zayra can really get started, she responds that they haven't told her. Um, did they have a meeting and she missed it? Because everyone else who's left seems to be up to speed. Gilby asks her whether she even owns any records that any of the judges have been on. "I've heard of your music," Zayra says, digging herself a big hole. The judges, including Dave, are like, "No, she di'int!" "I was wearing diapers when that was out," Zayra taunts. "OHHH!" Dave cries. "Snap!" The Nut Gallery loves it, as does the crowd. Zayra smiles like she won. Which, I guess she did, for now. Tommy just tells her she did a great job, and the Supernovans shake their heads and laugh. Brooke condescends, "We've got ourselves a tough group of girls." Let's hope they're waiting for her outside the auditorium after the taping's over.

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Rock Star




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