Rock Star
The Top Ten/Jill And Josh Jilted

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
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Double Your Displeasure

If Josh actually wanted to win this contest, he'd leave the guitar on the stand, or toss it into the audience, or smash it after the first chorus or something. It was free, after all. But he goes through the whole doomed performance, stuck behind the microphone stand and waggling his head with an ugly lack dorkpie hat perched atop it. I do have to admit that his voice sounds really really good, as always. I wish him well. With another gig. After he's done, he joins Jill off stage left, who's smiling and applauding stiffly. And there's a funny moment where behind him, we can see Brooke almost missing her cue and rushing past them in the background. She scampers back out to the end of the runway to announce the last final three member. And it is, "Patrice. Or Ryan. And we'll find out after the break." Patrice, who never moved, just points at Brooke like, "Good one! Get down with your Seacrestic self!" Brooke apologizes lamely over the groans of the audience as we go to commercial.

Coming back, Brooke tries to pump up the drama as to whether it's Patrice or Ryan filling out the bottom three. "Patrice," she says, "this could be your third week in the bottom three." Patrice just nods, that creepy, ever-present bottom-three smile of hers never wavering. Brooke reminds Ryan that he's never been in the bottom three and that he had the encore last week. Ryan just raises an arm, his creepy serial-killer glare never wavering. Of course, since Brooke took the trouble to point those facts out in order to make sure we're expecting Patrice, it's no surprise when it turns out to be Ryan.

"Anything to stand next to Brooke," Ryan mumbles into his mic when he reaches her. Because it's Jason's turn to grill a bottom-three member, he waves his fingerless gloves around and asks Ryan why he thinks he's in the bottom three. Ryan says that he doesn't know. Jason's question is of course Socratic, because he thinks that, like himself, people are somewhat confused by Ryan's goofy theatrics of the evening before. Although not in so many words. Without giving Ryan much of a chance to respond, Jason asks what Ryan's singing tonight. And Ryan's singing "Enjoy the Silence" by Depeche Mode. Sitting at home, Matt is like, "Hey!" As for the crowd, this is the loudest reaction I've heard to a bottom-three song announcement, which is kind of weird. Maybe Depeche Mode is an L.A. thing. Ryan says that he updated the arrangement and babbles something about the lyrics being "in the moment," whatever that means. Jason thinks it's an appropriate song for Ryan, which spins me off into speculation of how many people I went to high school with would have known both the names "Jason Newsted" and "Enjoy The Silence." My guess: a lot more than would have admitted it. Jason gives Ryan the go-ahead.

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Rock Star

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