Big John leads the girls into a waiting area and explains that they're about to be interrogated with their exes. Taya says everyone started to "unravel" when she heard the news. Except for Beverly, because she's already unraveled. She's unraveled like a ball of yarn in a box of kittens. Jamie is sick of hearing Beverly's complaints and says her "real" exes didn't come either. She gets to go in first.
Bret welcomes us to Wassa Goin' On Court, with Judges Ambre and Heather presiding. Two judges? What a stupid court. And they're not even wearing the proper judicial robes. Jamie, drink in hand, enters. She sits next to Hamboussi. Bret will watch the action on his monitor. Judge Heather opens up by saying that Hamboussi is "amazing" but she's confused on a few things. Like how they met. Jamie says she really liked Hamboussi's band, but denies going to all of their shows or moving to New York to be closer to them. Jamie says she moved to New York because the Midwest sucks. Hamboussi says Jamie "does a little something" for all members of the band. Jamie is upset at the implication that she's a "really slutty groupie." I am too, but only because "really slutty groupie" is redundant, and I hate it when people waste words. Judge Ambre asks Jamie if she would date Bret if he wasn't in a band. Well, no. None of them would. But let's all pretend they're here for Bret's good looks and awesome personality. Jamie has a hard time answering this, saying "not ... I don't want to say no, but ... " Bret interviews that he needs to make sure that Jamie's "heart and soul" are here for the right reason. To be on TV, right?
Out in the hallway, Ashley is freaking out with a series of bleeps. She says she wants to go. Big John encourages her to give it a chance. She's not buying it, and Big John quickly becomes annoyed and tells her to sit down and shut up. Mindy and Taya start to wonder what Ashley's so afraid will be exposed. Ashley, meanwhile, has decided to face her fear by lying down on the carpet like a child. ["At least it isn't a speed bump." -- Angel] Beverly, of course, can't stand to see someone else having a temper tantrum, and so points out that at least someone cared enough about Ashley to come on this show and ruin her chances to be with Bret. Whoops! Ashley reveals that she still lives with James, and that Beverly is somehow a "dumbass" for not knowing this. And it turns out that the tattoo on Ashley's heart that says James (but I kept thinking said Jesus) is not her son's name, like she told everyone else, but her ex-boyfriend. Ashley decides to become a lesbian. But Farrah's already gone! It's too late!