Next up is Jaz and Taya. They get the faux People's Court music and under Taya's name it says "accused of having a babbling ex." Babbling? More like battering. Taya talks about herself to the judges. She's 29, a centerfold model, and has a 9-year-old son. She claims to be a "burlesque dancer," which Judge Heather interprets as a stripper. Taya says no, she is a professionally trained dancer and doesn't dance at "the airport strip club." In a flashback, we see her impressive burlesque skills as she hangs upside down on a pole and spins around. I don't think real burlesque shows even have poles. Judge Heather accuses Taya of knocking the girls on the bus who do work at the airport strip club, and Taya denies this, as does Jaz. In fact, he'd like to murder anyone who said that Taya talked shit about strippers. Also, Judge Ambre has "stapled-ass extensions." Ambre's jaw drops in shock, but Judge Heather is bored. She calls Jaz a motherfucker. He's furious. She flips him off with both hands. Heather is awesome! With that, Judge Ambre sends Taya and Jaz the woman-hater out. Taya shrugs helplessly. I'm impressed that she made it out of that relationship with arms and shoulders to shrug with.
Here comes Royal T and Brittanya. Judge Heather asks how they know each other, and Royal T immediately says they're fuck buddies. They both claim it's been a while since they last had sex, but Judge Ambre has a surprisingly good memory for someone who's probably killed most of her brain cells by various means and says Royal T told her something different. Royal T denies this, but Ambre has flashback footage to back her up. "Lies make baby Jesus cry," Bret says. Big John cries. He is baby Jesus. Judge Heather is now furious at Royal T for not keeping things real. Brittanya interviews that Heather is a "stupid hater." Now Brittanya and Heather are calling each other bitches while Ambre looks off to the side, trying to pretend she's somewhere else. Brittanya jumps up and starts yelling, which is Bret's cue to order John out to break up the impending fight. Heather stands, which is apparently just cause for Brittanya to defend herself by throwing a punch. It hits Heather in the hand and makes a lame sound effect. Bret calls Brittanya a "keeper."