Last but certainly not least are James and Ashley. Ashley nervously thrusts her chest out. Judge Ambre asks Ashley where their relationship is right now. "He's my BF ... F," Ashley non-answers. She then claims they're just friends and James is a great father to their son. "He's the only person in my life that I can respect as a person," Ashley says. I'm not entirely sure what she's saying, but it's probably really upsetting. Ashley is forced to admit that they still live together, and Bret frowns as much as his botox will allow. He says this reminds him of Daisy and Charles from last season. Bret says it would have been nice if Ashley had something about this to him earlier. "Ya think?" John says. In all fairness to Ashley, she seems to always have something in her mouth when she's around Bret. Like alcohol or his tongue or other parts of his anatomy. Judge Ambre asks if they still sleep together. Ashley immediately says no while James looks coy. When asked, he says they do still sleep together. In fact, "we fuck all the time." Ashley interviews that she is now fucked. In every sense of the word. James says he still loves Ashley. She says she loves him "as the father of my child." Why can't these two crazy kids work something out? The judges ask James if he would be upset if Ashley wound up with Bret. James says he doubts that would happen "because nobody can pull my bitch." He loves to say that. I don't even know what it means, but he's said it 156 times this episode. Bret is all too happy to tell us that Ashley was indeed pulled. James says he'd be "disgusted" if Ashley wound up with Bret. He's here to take Ashley back to their home. Ashley interviews that she's trying to move on from James. That should be easy when they're living together.
Bret arrives in court to talk to the judges. He asks what they think about Jamie. Ambre says she's not sure if Jamie is here for Bret or to satisfy her groupie urges, like a salmon swimming upstream. Bret wonders if Jamie likes him or his "rock stardomny-n-n-ness." He asks about Beverly next. Ambre calls her "tough" and "strong," and Bret says she's a case of someone who got married and had kids young, only to explode and take back the youth she missed because she was a wife and mother. Except Beverly's lost youth apparently consists of hating everyone and drinking too much and sulking in the corner of the room. That's the kind of lost youth you'd rather stayed lost. Bret decides that Beverly is "in a second childhood" and not in the best place to have a relationship. Is he a rock star or a psychiatrist???