Heroes Of The Republic

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: C+ | Grade It Now!
And, We're Back
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

We open on Timon's brother Levi at temple, praying fervently and fluently, a prayer shawl over his head and a tefillah (one of those little boxes containing Torah scrolls) strapped to his forehead. Next to him? Timon himself, also wearing a shawl and tefillah and doing his best to keep up. But his eyes soon roll back in his head. Whether it's in devotion or boredom, it's hard to tell. And that's all the time we have for Timon this week. Keep us posted on that redemption thing, though.

In Cisalpine Gaul, a couple of miserable-looking soldiers are about to settle down for some pretty poor rations. The already dreary meal is then immeasurably cheered by the start of a light rain. Just what they need. Through the surrounding trees, they see movement, and they rise with their hands on their sword hilts. But it's only an unarmed man in civilian garments with a heavy beard and a self-satisfied smirk, as well as a dead deer draped over his soldiers. "All right, boys," he says, tossing the carcass to the ground. "Let's eat." The soldiers draw their blades after all, and set to work. It's not until later that I'll realize this shaggy mountain man is none other than Mark Antony. I wasn't sure of the point of this scene either. You can draw your own conclusions.

Pullo and Vorenus appear to have traded one of their horses for a covered wagon. Vorenus is currently driving it back toward Rome while Pullo rides shotgun, or whatever it was called back then. Bow, I suspect. All three kids are asleep in the back, except Vorena the younger, who looks up blankly at Pullo when he steals a peek. Pullo suggests to Vorenus that maybe they shouldn't go back to the Collegium, since Antony's orders don't technically stand, and a place full of criminals might not be the best place to raise kids. Vorenus hotly asks Pullo for other suggestions, now that the children have been defiled and disgraced. Dudeus, they're right behind you. Pullo says that they could go anywhere and not tell anybody: "Who's to know?" Vorenus angrily scoffs at the idea of "living dishonestly." "Well there's lies and there's lies, innit?" Pullo observes, for all the good it does.

On their way into the city, Pullo and Vorenus run into an official roadblock that appears to be rather backed up. Vorenus and Pullo approach the Roman solider running things and ask what's up. The soldier says that the road's blocked "by the authority of Gaius Octavian Caesar." Who has apparently decided that coming back into Rome should be as much as possible like coming back into the U.S. from Tijuana. Meanwhile, on the cart, Vorena the Younger wakes her sister to tell her that they're unattended, so this is their chance to make a dash for it. Vorena the Elder tells her not yet; they can't run without any money, and they'll have to wait. So I take it they're not as happy to be back together as Vorenus is. Up at the roadblock, the soldier is telling Pullo and Vorenus that Octavian and his army of 15,000 have set up camp on the Field of Mars outside the city. On their way back to the cart, Vorenus remarks to Pullo, "Your boy's a bit aggressive, isn't he?" Pullo amiably shoots back, "My boy gave your man a whipping. I expect he knows what he's doing." They're like Mets and Yankees fans or something.

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