Rome
Heroes Of The Republic

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And, We're Back

Vorenus has brought his reunited family to a priest for some kind of purifying ritual. It involves the priest praying to Janus, draining the blood out of a bird, and then smearing the gore all over Vorena the Elder's face. It's gross. Like she hasn't dealt with enough recently. But after months of acting as a dedicated receptacle for overseer-spooge, Vorena doesn't seem too bothered by potentially becoming patient zero in the first avian flu epidemic. She just seems to think the whole concept of the ritual is bullshit, not that she says anything. Vorenus smiles at her proudly and cluelessly, and makes his own promise to Janus that he will "renounce darkness and walk in the path of light." That's going to be tough for a crime boss. Lyde looks doubtful, but she says nothing.

At Mark Antony's mountain base camp, soldiers march to and fro, as they do. One group looks different from the rest: a short, grumpy general marches along, fenced in by towering soldiers at each corner. My research tells me this means formation means he is a prisoner, and by "research" I mean "watching the next scene."

Here we are. They enter Mark Antony's tent, and seeing Antony with his new beard and wavy disco-hair makes me belatedly realize that he was the one delivering deer to hungry soldiers in the second scene. Presumably there was also a deleted scene in which he joined the Bee Gees. Antony warmly greets the grumpy general as Lepidus. He dismisses the guards, saying that Lepidus probably doesn't have any "ill designs." "Not under present circumstances, no," Lepidus stiffly agrees.

A moment later, over wine, Lepidus exposits, "My men deserted to your side with great alacrity. Not a single blow struck, yet my camp is empty. Amazing." Antony agrees that he needs to write to Cicero and the Senate, thanking them for sending him so many fresh troops. Oops. I guess that didn't work out so well for them, did it? Lepidus admits that he didn't realize Antony was so popular. Antony says that Lepidus is probably just too "noble" and "aristocratic," both of which somehow sound like putdowns when he says them. He gets to his point, which is what they should do next, now that Lepidus has surrendered. He doesn't want to kill Lepidus, but he can't exactly let him go, either. So he takes a page from Caesar's book and offers Lepidus a position as his second-in-command. Lepidus is taken aback by the "generosity" of the offer, but realizes that he can't really say no. I guess he's not really much of a death-before-dishonor type, then.

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Rome

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