How Titus Pullo Brought Down The Republic

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B- | 2 USERS: A+
How Titus Pullo Brought Down The Republic

Cut to the House of Julii Cooper. She opens the door of...some room somewhere to find Octavia and Octavia's first husband, whom she sharply tells to leave the house immediately. I guess if she's Julii Cooper, then Octavia is Marissa, which makes the former Mr. Octavia...the Yard Guy? I don't know. Anyway, Glabius very crankily announces that he doesn't want to leave. Julii Cooper takes to this idea not at all, and informs him that, if she were not "a genteel woman," she would have him "flayed and hung on a bracket by the door." I need to remember that turn of phrase for difficult days at the office. Julii Cooper then calls for the dogs. Oh, bless her. The threat of being torn limb from limb by rapid animals finally gets Mr. Octavia to leave, albeit in a huff. "Insolent wretch," Julii mutters, and walks back know, wherever, with poor little Octavia trotting behind her. "I hate you," Octavia whines. "I hate you, I hate you." Wow. She IS Marissa Cooper. Who knew The O.C. had so many parallels to Ancient Rome? I so hope to see Sandy Cohen in a toga this year. So Julii Cooper reacts in the only way she can, which is to haul off and slap her daughter. "Silly girl," she says. Octavia promptly scampers off to her room, where she flings herself on her bed and sobs.

As Octavia sobs, Julii Cooper complains to a servant that she's only trying to do what's best for her daughter. "Why can't she see that?" she wonders, mildly. The servant reminds Julii that Octavia is young, but Julii doesn't care about her daughter anymore, because Octavian is back. "My poor rabbit!" she says, as she races over and embraces him. "So thin. Was it very horrible? Of course it was. I can't even imagine. We shan't even talk about it. We shall put it totally out of our minds." Yes. Repress! Repress! Although I don't think it's that Julii wants Octavian to repress any of the trauma of, you know, being kidnapped and whatnot; it's merely that she knows she would find his yapping tiresome and simply has no time for it. She sees Vorenus and Pullo loitering around behind her sons and asks who they are. "You are to be very good to them, Mother," Octavian tells her. "They are particular friends of mine." He explains that they're the ones who saved him from the kidnappers. Julii seems mildly pleased that her son isn't in the hands of crazy murderers anymore and calls for her purse. Vorenus waves off the reward, and Octavian tells his mother that Vorenus and Pullo should stay and eat. Julii tells a nearby servant to have bread and meat put out in the kitchen for the soldiers, but Octavian explains he meant that Pullo and Vorenus should eat WITH THEM. Vorenus pipes up that he needs to go see his wife. "Your wife has waited eight years," says Octavian. "She can wait a while longer." To his mother, he says, "Caesar has given them honorary horses and they ride with the standard. It's perfectly acceptable to eat with them." "Splendid idea! It's symbolic," Julii says. "We shall all dine together, as equals." She promptly snaps her fingers for a slave.

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