Episode Report Card
M. Giant: C+ | 1 USERS: A+
Pompey's Circumstance

Later, Brutus and friends are chilling around a smoldering campfire, when Caesar rides up on his big white horse and hops off, grinning happily at them. "How happy I am to see you!" he says, embracing Brutus in a way that causes Cicero's salute to amusingly zoom right past him. Cicero then gets a hug as well, as Caesar says in relief, "I thought you were dead." Cicero begins his surrender speech, and actually looks rather put out when Caesar insists, "We've merely quarreled a little. Now we are friends again, eh?" Thousands of dead Romans are thrilled to hear it. Cicero starts in on how he can't accept Caesar's generosity, but Caesar has already shifted his attention back to Brutus, who is emotionally apologizing to Caesar. "It is I who am sorry," Caesar says. "I presented you an impossible dilemma. You did only what you thought honorable, I am sure. I kiss you for it," he Mahirs, and plants one on each of Brutus's cheeks. He cuts off Cicero's next attempt to speak by asking about Pompey: "Tell me he lives." He thanks the gods when Cicero tells him that Pompey is alive, but is crestfallen when he learns that Pompey, Scipio, and Cato have fled to Africa rather than planning to surrender. "What am I thinking of?" Caesar chides himself. "Asking you questions when you must be so hungry and thirsty." Way to rub it in, there. He insists that the two surrender monkeys join him in the officer's mess. I suppose news of the other 250-odd Senators can wait until after the salad course.

Quite a loud, noisy banquet is going on in Caesar's tent. I guess the food problem has been solved. Interesting how they can't afford to show a battlefield, so reversals of fortune in war on this show are reflected in the quality of the catering. The party falls silent when Caesar leads Brutus and Cicero into the tent. Mark Antony looks particularly disapproving. Caesar scoots a couple of officers off the bench to make room for himself and his guests, and sits next to Mark Antony, giving him a sharp not one word out of you look as he does so. He hands a loaf of bread to Brutus, who breaks it. Which in turn breaks the silence, as the conversation ramps up again. Good idea, Caesar, keeping both of Brutus's hands occupied when he's sitting right next to you. Keep doing that.

At Pompey's camp, Pompey's telling his kids stories about the time he went lion hunting with King Ptolemy of Egypt. As traveling merchants do. Over by another fire, Vorenus and Pullo have regained enough strength to sit upright on stools and take some food. NOse goes over to join them. Vorenus asks in his normal voice, "Tell me something: what is the name of that Roman?" NOse fakes that his boss's name is Aeneas Mella. "What do you hear of Caesar and Pompey?" Vorenus presses. NOse says, "They fought, I heard." Pullo wants to know who won. Because Pompey's the kind of guy who would celebrate a victory by fleeing in disguise across Greece at the head of an unprotected mule train. Octavian would be ashamed of his tutor. NOse chuckles, "I was going to let you in anyway." Pullo's confused, until NOse explains that he'd like to enlist the two soldiers to help him to take Pompey's people down, turn in the man himself, and split the reward down the middle. "That's not a bad idea," Pullo tells Vorenus, who simply says to NOse, "Walk away and do not speak of this again." Pullo makes this weary, "Why oh why must I be saddled with Mister Honor all the time?" face. NOse gets pissed, thinking that Vorenus wants to take Pompey and the reward all by himself: "Fuck you, not going to happen." "Don't," says Pullo, who knows Vorenus a lot better than that, which earns him a "Fuck you" of his own. Vorenus stands up and tells NOse, "When I am finished speaking, you will turn and run that way." "What about this way?" NOse sneers, grabbing his crotch. Undeterred, Vorenus says, "Do not stop until you are out of my sight, and do not delay, or I will kill you." NOse asks Pullo what's up with Vorenus, and Pullo just shrugs pleasantly. "I am finished speaking," Vorenus says, and turns to walk away. NOse stands and draws his own knife, because he's seen The Princess Bride and knows Vorenus is bluffing and is still too weak to do anything. Vorenus, however has not seen The Princess Bride, and whirls to jam his sword through NOse's neck before he can make another move. That gets even the Pompeys' attention. "Bit harsh, isn't it?" Pullo says mildly, never having gotten up, or even stopped eating. "Fair enough deal he was offering, I thought."

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