Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A | Grade It Now!
Shall I Loot A Peach?

Back at the picnic, Lyde and Vorenus relax as they watch Vorena the Elder play tag with Little Lucius. They agree that she's a beautiful girl, and they also agree that it's a shame she'll never have a family of her own. Lyde says that maybe she could marry anyway, as Niobe would have wanted. Vorenus says, "Niobe would only want her married to a decent man. And no decent man would have her." Nice thing to say about your own daughter. But before the discussion can continue, they're alarmed by the sound of Vorena trying to stop Lucius from running into the road, just as Cicero's courier is dashing up at full gallop. Lucius freezes in the path of the oncoming hooves, but the rider manages to pull his horse to a stop just in time. Vorenus steps into the road and sends Lucius back into the arms of the women as the courier bitches at Vorenus. Hitting about a 3 on his personal rage scale, Vorenus says that the courier was riding too fast. "Fuck you and your fucking mongrels," the courier replies. "Get out of my way!" He raises his riding crop to strike, sending Vorenus's rage scale spiking up to 7. The courier quickly finds himself yanked out of the saddle instead, the tube containing Cicero's letter falling unnoticed to the ground. Vorenus makes ready to deliver a crunchy beating, until Lyde tells him not to do it in front of the children. Vorenus forbears, and lets the man up and back on his horse. The courier resumes his gallop, unaware that he stopped couri-ing the second he hit the ground. Nice job, dude. He's going to be so embarrassed when he gets to Greece. ["I assume this guy's descendants went on to found DHL." -- Wing Chun] Vorenus tells the kids to get back to playing and sternly orders Little Lucius to stay out of the road. But before returning to the clearing, Little Lucius and Vorena the Younger open the courier's dropped tube and run off with the scroll they find inside. Those idiot children. Do they have any idea how much that letter would be worth on eBay right now?

Later, Vorenus is entertaining the family by juggling crabapples (appropriately enough), when Pullo rides up bearing peaches, not a drop of blood on him. He hands Vorenus the satchel he's carrying as they talk about what a nice day they both had. Pullo says that Cicero's not stuck up like you might expect, as Vorenus digs the peaches out of the satchel and distributes them among the fam. Vorena the Younger has folded the parchment into a hat for Little Lucius. These being the last written words of Marcus Tullius Cicero, worn around on some little kid's head..

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