Rome
Son Of Hades

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M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
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Heir Heads

At Julii Cooper's place, breakfast is a little tense at the courtyard table. Mark Antony is acting all defensive about Cleopatra, while Julii Cooper is just acting all cold and letting him swing. Octavia joins them and remarks, "Fighting again? How tiresome." I hear that. Octavian arrives as well, and just as if he were completely failing to read the room, asks Antony about his money again. Antony's in no mood, and even Julii Cooper tells her son to back off for now. It's still herturn to give him shit. Antony irately wonders "what on Gaia's great arse" Octavian wants to do with the money in the first place, not that it's any of his business. But Octavian attempts a sincere answer, saying that he'd start by giving the plebs the money promised them by Caesar. Antony condescends to an increasingly annoyed Octavian, telling him, "Basic politics, lad: once they have the money, then spend it, then they will want more money. And what are you going to do then?" I never get tired of stupid people on this show talking to Octavian like he's the idiot in the room. Octavian, of course, saw this coming, so he's lawyered up. He acts like he's just trying to help Antony's people move things along faster, but nobody's buying that. Antony suggests to Octavian, "Tell your lawyer to shove a taper up his ass and set himself alight." Because Octavian's not getting a penny. Julii Cooper tries to make peace between her boys, but Antony gets up and storms away from the table. Either unaware or uninterested in the dark cloud now hanging over the room, Octavia blithely asks her brother to pass the fruit salad, and he does. Julii Cooper's pissed at her son for offending the man she thinks is the family's great protector. Octavian tries to claim the responsibility of protecting them as his own, but his mother scoffs. "Mark Antony buggers boys like you for a morning snack." You know things you hear parents say to their kids that you swear you'll never say to your own? My list just got a new entry. She insists that Octavian apologize to Antony for offending him, and storms away as well, leaving her children alone to have sex. But Octavia's got problems of her own: "There's not enough figs in this salad," she complains. Maybe we should start calling her Oblivia.

While stomping away from Julii Cooper's house, followed by his entourage and the empty sedan chair he hasn't even bothered to climb into, Antony happens to glance down a cross street and notice a bunch of guys beating up on someone. He doesn't intervene or even slow down, of course. He's got a lot of very important stomping to do. However, Julii Cooper's head slave Castor observes the scene as well, and chases the men off. Still lying on the street, the beaten man thanks Castor and begs him for work. But Castor's done his good deed for the day, and he turns away with a shrug. However he stops short when the beaten man offers, "I'll suck your cock!" What a tragedy that we won't get to see this week how that thrilling cliffhanger pays off.

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Rome

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